Are you feminist?

                                  

I never thought about that until a doctor asked me that at work.  In Sweden it is not such a strange thing that men call themselves feminist. 

And while I just thought about equality for the LGBTIQ community, it came again to my mind that this is also something we deal with on and on. 

But what is a feminist nowadays? It sure is not only a woman fighting aggressive for her rights. It’s not only fighting for being part of the congress, getting the laws changed and fighting together as black and white.

It has become more. Women fight loud but also in silence and they fight on different places. Now it’s education, family times and still family planning or also called Planned Parenthood.  They also fight for same wage as this is still unbelievable unfair and women now have understood that they have to demand men to fight with them, to understand deep inside that what they seek is right and has to make into reality.

You know it is unbelievable that we after 100 years since the women started to fight for equality have not come that far.  Why is it so hard to achieve success? Is it that we went more silent after the 80tis? Is it that young women have to discover feminist for themselves and make it their own thing? Find new ways and remember that being loud is still necessary. 

So a man fighting along side by side with a woman is a feminist?

Thought as far as I remember what I have read, most of those men still are very much living the cliché and those 50/50 thing is more a which, than reality, in everyday life and also those men pay women less than for a man.  Women are many times o.k. with this, or believe it just is that way or even more it has to be, thought they should know better.  But yes, we have still also those women who truly believe a woman has to be home, make children and her husband has to bring home the money. They believe women should not have extra rights- and this is the problem! It’s not about extra rights it’s about to get the same rights, to have the same possibilities and choices.  Sure in many ways men and women are different, but that does not mean they are weaker, or less worth, or should have less rights as they can be smart the same as men and work hard as a man and even feel. They can make decisions and those without being victims of hormones. Many forget that men have also hormones, which makes them act stupid.

And why is it still a problem to live out sexuality as women? Why is it still for men and women a problem if a woman gets a divorce, but not when the man does? That’s bigotry and lying to yourself about what and who we are. 

But back to men who are called feminist. They are no less man of course, thought many would like to call them so. They fight for women rights; sometimes they just call it a fight for equality. And without men the revolution will not succeed in the end. We always need both sides.  And also those men who just fight and are into equality. Like myself, a man who does not call themselves a feminist.

But let’s be true, we do to less and women also stand in their own way. We have to try harder but how can we make others understand that the time is now, not tomorrow as it can be too late then or even harder to achieve things. As this is a question of power, of money and who will lead the world. It is a question of peace and war and where we put each other. It is a question of respect and empathy.  Things the new generation of feminist have to understand and some already work that way. The older generation is looking back and into the future and will hope that we go on fighting as they see how hard it still is, how unequal we act and how hard some groups fight to get women back into the dark age again. So we have to talk, to teach and be visible.

May you call yourself a feminist or not, but start discussing what went wrong, to know our history and what should we do and how can we prepare our children to not do the same mistakes or act the same unequal way. Yes, it starts with how we teach them, how uncles, mothers and grandparents act and all those other folks. Only together we will make it better as it is not enough when just parents make it right. 

Let's think about it with Love & Light

Enough is enough

Enough is enough!

Stop hating us!

I'm tired of your excuses!

I'm less on your lies!

I'm less on your stupid religious!

I'm less on your blindness!

I'm human as you!

I deserve to live a life!

A good life!

I deserve the same rights!

Wake up! It's time!

I want future!

How dare you to shoot me! How dare you to only love some of gods children! How dare you to not even try to think and act with your heart! How dare you to prefer to kill and call us the devel, when you are the one! How dare you to call yourself victim, when the truth is you try to make us to be such! How dare you to say we are the reason why things went wrong, when the truth is, that you are the reason! How dare you to blame us for everything bad that happens, when you are part of the mess!

I am so less! I am so less! I wont stand your bigotry any longer! I can't let you go free! You are not china, you are not save! Because you are afraid you want us back in the closet but I am never going to do that! I have a right, the right to live my life as you without fear, in freedom and peace. I deserve your respect even when you don't understand all I do! 
All the hate you spreed shows how weak you are and how stupid you prefer to stay. 
I won't make it easy for you! Just because you don't want to deal with human nature. Just because you prefer to live a lie. 

Far to long we fight for something very natural. Far to many times you denied listen to love, even when you prayed love yourself. I demand you to stop hating! I demand you to listen now! I demand you to put away all the weapons and face your own fear! I demand you to take us seriously and part of this world! I demand you to finally see the truth, that we are like you! No better, no worse, not nicer, not weaker, nor stronger, just like you! 

I am so less, so less and pitty you, but also I want you to change into better. Your better future is not to get with our better future. Any future will only arrive when you let the past gone by and look up and avoid being blind. Our future is only to get together in equality! 

Love is Love and Enough is Enough!

Love and Light

The Alien, the Prince and the Boxer

What do they all have in common?

They’re all man. They’re all unique. They all payed a high price. They all had quite a life.

They’re all dead.

They all have been one of the reasons why we live the way we do today- so they all are a reminder of a fight, because they all have been fighters. But they are also a reminder, that we still fight the same things, deal with the same theme. Sadly.

They all crossed borders and showed that the world is not black and white. They showed the world that it is o.k. to be who you are and that equality is a reason to fight for. Yes, they took up equality before we thought about it again and they even haven’t been the first ones. Already in their lifetime they thought that it was time for a real change. Wish we still need. Sadly, things went just a bit better, but not as far as they should be.

The Boxer showed how to be a man abroad the clichè he himself seems to be. That being a coloured human means to be strong as any other human and that this is the reason to be treaten equaly. Much the same it was with the Prince. Showing the world that being a man means more then just macho. But he was disciminate as black, yes he was put in the box as such, thought he was not and much more. MTV denied him the same rights as other artist, as they put him in the black box untill they understood he was universal, should be treaten the same. The Prince even was not only clourblind, he even did not care about your gender, your sexuality. Just like the Alien, who thought us that  man can be women enough and be an in between. That things in life are colourful and all but black and white.

But still we differ in black and white, in man and women, in different rights. Gender and sexuality still are an issu to discriminate and even the clour of your skin can make your life harder, less fair.

How can this be still going on? How can people still believe that one is better than the other, that there is reason to believe equality should not be a reality. How can the conservative and far right and sometimes far left too still tell people to think in hate. Have they been so lucky and got the success to keep people stupid and make them stupid again? And why are those who know better not fighting harder, doing more, are louder and mor to see? Why are so many in silence? Have they given up because they have been thought their is no chance? Have we heard too many lies?

How come that women fight against women and want them to be stupid, weak and just home and a birth machine? How come that black and coloured people fight for  those who don’t want them to see as equal? How can homosexuals fight against themselfs? How can it be that a man still has to be macho? How can it be that we teach children on and on that they are not worth the same, not worth having the same rights. We know so much better, but most of us seem to teach them the old clichè.

And religious organisation are going on in pressing people into stereotypes and have the success to impress with lies and people have been getting so used to the fact that they can get away with crime.

But children use to be colourblind and without hate and make no difference between them.

We teach them. Why don’t we stop?

Why are we so silent about this fact? I wonder on and on why people have easy to go on the streets in the name of hate but not in the name of love, justice and equality? Why do so many think it won’t help. Or do they believe it is not important? It’s a paradox, that they believe in hate fights that politic can do a change, but not when it is about a better future. Or isn’t this a paradox at all?! Is it the fear that keeps them believing that the ”god” ol’ way is best, even know that this is untrue?! Is it that we lost faith in change as we tried it so many times in history and again and again we fell. Have we forgot that the rules of nature are part of our life too?

We are the generation who should know best, but it seems we don’t.  When I search the internet and read the papers, there is no way to find to achieve higher arwareness, no new way to make people change their mind. No way to get them up and on the street for a real change.

Will the things we do now be enough? Can we wait any longer? But I guess we have to have patience, have to have faith in time. We have to believe that people will one day see. But when, when will this be? So I guess we have to go on, even when we feel tired, even when we fail, fall back, when we have to fight again and again until we are there we want to be, have to be as human kind.

When will people feel, we all deserve the same rights as I always felt it that way. I could never understand, that people make difference. 

Love& Light

another vinyl another artist-

Actually I wonder if his music ever was to find on a CD. Maybe when you look under Jazz in your store. 

He is not so well known, but was in his time one of the best singers in Jazz/ Swing and went on to populare Hollywood music. Very much alike Frank Sinatra. And most people who knew both would not have said that one has been better then the other. As far as I know.
He was inspiring, someone with a passion and who knew to entertain.

When he made this vinyl he was just 30 years old but already has been in the show business about 25 years. 

So, no wonder he sounds very good and smooth. His songs like cremé and chocolade are pure enjoyment, thought most of them ar slow songs on this album as it was quite popular to have music to just listen to at home. 

Mel Tormé and his -It's a blue world- album is worth listening and gets never boring. No it is not a sad love song album or just an album with songs of depression and -all is hopeless- feelings. Not at all. It's quite positive, romantic and he interprets the songs with such a warm voice and deep feeling, you can't deny it makes you dream. Although this music is not that popular anymore these days, I will say you should try it no matter what, and let those songs sink into you. 

Yes, most of the songs are called classic and some are maybe still known these days.

12 songs, that's not bad, isn't it? Perfect for an afternoon with tea or coffee or even a glass wine. And you will wonder why he is so unknown, but I guess it's the way it is. Some become the big stars, others are just good singers and artist and you know what.... no matter what.... enjoy them!

LOVE & LIGHT

Dealing with depression

Actually I wanted to write about this disease and some things around it, but as I just had another shocking experience, I decided to write about us, who have not to deal with this disease but with people who have depression. 

To make it clear, if you never had a depression you will never to the fully understand it. 

It's impossible, thought even the people who have it have hard to explain. 

You can read books about depression and talk to people who open up about living with it. You even find on the internet versions of expressions like a big shadow is over you or that depression is like a dog who follows you and gets bigger and bigger until he is much bigger than you and you can't handle the dog any longer. He even is that big that you can't see the door out. 

Yes, in the beginning most affected don't see the signs themself, later they try to deal with it all alone until they finally search for help and sadly as it is many have hard to find a good therapist and the doctor/ medicine. That means depression is getting bigger and heavier. 

So we who have not the problem have hard to understand how it is not to be able to get up, to see things positive, to have problems to achieve something, even the smallest things. Yes it is hard to understand how they feel and how their motion is. Words can't describe and mostly whatever we say to get them up can bring them down and also make them feel pressure. 

I have some friends with depression and it is part of my work to deal with this disease but even I am not fully prepared for what can come. 

You know the way we see the world is not how they see it, even thought we use the same words. I had the bad luck to use a sentence which hurt that friend. I never meant to and for most of us it would not be a problem but it was. That's what I know now. 

So... I can give as many apologies as I feel but will he understand and take it? 

Yes, missunderstanding can easely happen between all of us but with people who have depression the danger is higher. One reason is, they often don't talk about their disease. Another is they, like many other people, react not immediately. And one of the most important thing is the -I feel fine- game. 

They often don't tell you how they really feel. It's hard but you have no chance but to trust that their words are true. That makes of course things complicated. When do you know they don't act and tell how they feel? And they used to be very good actors. 

The reasons are many. 

But that means you can feel everything is fine when it is not, but how could you know? 

I'm sorry if I touch a wound of another person, and more I am sad, as I did not know that it was a problem. 

I do my conversation in good spirit and never liked to be nasty.  I do critises but try always to put myself into it too. Things are for me never black and white. 

The thing is, someone who has depression can take even the smallest thing hard if you have bad luck. 

I know that, but it is always a shock when they crash frontal into me and deliver the knife I have put in them, even I was totally unaware of it. All I can say is sorry and all we can do is to hope that the other person will accept it. If all goes fine you have a good finish, but the risk that the other person will break with you and stay mad at you is high. 

You can't do much about it. Take it as it is and hope the best. 

Now we could say handle with care and watch your words but how much may I ask. 

I won't take them as china as this will kill all possibilities of having fun and you will never have the chance to get to know each other more and better. 

Yes, I have to look over things they do, have to look over many times to reactions they have, or of the way they act as they don't see it themself, or they act a strange way because they feel high, or unsure. 

Serenity is important when you deal with those people who are struggling and fighting and also hope for a better future, who are having their ups and downs as all of us, just more extreme sometimes. 

Yes, we deal with depression, that's all we can do. 

We will never understand it 100%. 

Love & Light