How to get under the surface? Do we really want to go under the skin of someone? But then again, what lies underneath your cloths? We want to know people better. We even believe we know them as we see and read about them and what we read from them and what they tell us. But do we really?
How to find out what you are about?
It's not the question who reads your posting and respond to it. It's not to see who repost your words and sentences. It's not to know when you will die or did you made the grammar test some made up for entertaining you on Facebook.
It's not even the words you write to tell the world how you feel. Because all can be fake, all can be wrong, all can be censored. Ok. maybe not all, but much of it. May we be aware of it or not and you know, we believe our lies far to much and love them sometimes too, as they sound to good to you.
But it is true, in each you find something true if you look closer. If you know how to look right, as you have to keep in mind that your worldview is just your own and so another human has another opinion. It's actually a secret and a miracle how we do understand each other quite so good. I have never been in the mind of anyone and I am sure no one has done it yet. Or am I wrong?
Not to mention that some people refuse to take a second look on things and believe the only right way to understand is their own. Then you can say what you want, you can pray as long you want and write letters, show the things, they just don't want to believe you as they don't believe in an alternative version. Sadly I have to call this also an experience I know. But I guess we all have had the luck to be part of such.
Most of us will now say that with dear friends and family it is a bit different, and I hope so for the most of us to be it like that and in a positive way we'll see each other in less shadowed versions. I personaly also believe we will never know everything about us, above what some may say about the human they have a relationship with. You know those who claim to know all from each other. I think, we'll never do that. That is o.k.- I mean as I said you only stand in your own shoes and your mind is just your life.
Anyway. How is it with the working life? Many believe to know their colleagues very well and to tell when they lie or make up things or are part of an intrigue. But is it really that way.
I have become very carfully to trust blind at work and as I have a higher position I look more sharply to what people do, how they act and what they say. Reading beetween the lines is a must, if you want to succee.
Yes, one thing I always have in mind is to find ways to get under the surface. To see where the truth lies and the beauty, the potential of a worker. Especially when you have to lead a team which is not in balance and has not been for a while and some have given up believing, some only see things negative and some have become to comfort in the bad situation and most are afraid of changes.
That's why as a new leader you have to find out fast how the most are thinking withouth being to obvious. As it is, you will be called weak so soon, if you ask to much. Another thing is to see what you can do as soon as possible to show effect and results to make them believe and trust in you and also you have to take the things in hand which most dislike and have hard to deal with. Show that you are not afraid of taking responsibility and also that you have no fear to talk with difficult people.
But be patient. Nothing changes from one day to another, usually. Nothing changes from one month to another either. Yes, actually change can take time. And if it is about work routines then you have to keep in mind that to put up a new one takes about a half year and to let it settle down another one. With a high turnover it becomes longer. With other words make this understandable for your staff so they know what to expect. Usually they want all now not later but know in the same time it will be later but then many are so tired of hearing things will get better, later, and they did not in the end.
So be gentle as a leader like a craftsman with his machine or like the carver with an old piece of wood. Like when he takes away the old color and let the real wood shine through. So has a leader to go step by step and take away the painted mask to see what's underneath.
And use words wisely and communicate as much as you can. Yes, talk, talk, talk, and explain, explain and ask if they have understood. Most employees forget to soon and many have a way to misunderstanding you will sometimes wondering how they could do. Then remember all have their own mind and see with different eyes. Never expect they fully understand.
I am sure many of us have made the experience on team meetings that some always come up with the same question, some say they remember different, thought they can read what you wrote down and those are different letters to what they claim.
Never underestimate the need of talking and telling you their needs. All know you are the leader and the boss is telling the rules and the pyramide in the company is clear, they usually want a word in all otherwise they start to dislike you and if you have bad luck they start hating you and become a rebel to your planes. Thought sometimes you just have to make clear that some decisions are to make and you are the one to tell them and they have to take it like it is.
But if you succee you can enjoy it, thought never lay down and believe work is done. To lead is to see further then the team and to discover the traps before they'll do. But in the moment you succee, yes, smile and enjoy like the carver enjoys the visibility of real wood.
Love & Light
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