Hello & Good-bye

How times fly and once again it was very much like those two words above. 

Traveling from Gothenburg till Berlin and back again. This time it was more then just visiting my old home town. 

This time I had to leave my flat there for god and it came to me when I talked with friends, that I now live 20 years by myself in my own flat. I never did moved together with someone and never really missed this but as I have to live actually in Sweden at a friends home, I more then realized that this way of living is a challenge for me. Thought it does feel god to leave the flat and end this part of my life, as everything has an end and so new ways begin. Just now I (again) don't know exactly where this way will lead, but that's the fun with live. Isn't it?

And I also start to understand how my friends who are in their 40tis and 50tis must feel, as times goes by and you actually realize how short the live time has become or better is. Good you'll never know this in your 20tis. But I was always thinking if dead will knock at my door I could come with him as I always lived my life the way I wanted but now I think I will discuss with him before, if we can't take the walk later. There is just too much I did not have done yet and I already did a lot but the more I do, the more I see how much there is on the way of possibilities. Guess, that is an experience many make, but only few take it serious and stay aware of that.

Thinking now about the flats I have lived in, which I called my own, their where not that many. Starting with just a little 25 qm flat with a big balcony, moving into a three room flat where one of the rooms became a working room and then the break because I lived in Sweden and yes finally I lived in my one room apartment, which was back to the roots but not that much back as it was luxury as I liked it. And now, well again a break and who knows what then? 

Sure I now have more things I can relate to and can more see what places have to offer in good and bad. But if it is about Gothenburg and Berlin- that will be another post.

So each step was to get up and never down. A rule in my live maybe- to never downgrade yourself. Invest in the bad times and keep as much you can in the good times for the bad times. Not a bad idea. This way I try to take my steps and was able to do quite a lot I must say. 
Being in Berlin was again much work this time and fun also, as there was the festival of lights in town and it was very beautiful and much better then the last years and this is also kind of a hello and good-bye, things as pictures come and go and you just stand there, watch them and enjoy it. Yes, like it should be in life. Work hard but also enjoy your day a bit. A holiday is seldom the only way to get a rest and stay healthy. 

as always- click on the pic and you'll get them big

art is for everyone

for a friend of mine on the right side this is her love in Berlin- the TV tower

can you see the trees?

Well, 20 years are not that long in a mans life but what a change I did since that- well most of us will do won't they?... I absolutely stand with all the mistakes I made in the past, cos each brought me to the place I am now as you should see it with yours too. 

The world has become bigger but in the same time much smaller. I start to wonder what our grandmothers- and fathers must really feel about time and changes they have gone through. Sure I can read a lot about it nowadays and they also telling stories, but sometimes I wonder- what do they really feel? Are they aware of all that? Or did it just happen and when they look back they have lost the track of remembering how it started. Some says so. 

20 years in history may feel much but is kind of a second who never was. No wonder some of us like "Star trek" and "Dr Who" and Co. Would it help to fly back in time to remember and feel again? Or is it like a walk in the park in the dark afternoon? Is it like going to the Brandenburger Gate and see how a mass of people stand there and watch a play of pictures going buy? 

Or is it when I walk through a fog in the morning and see my town surrounding me softly?

Is it the colored sky in the afternoon who gives you the feeling of eternity? Though it is just a few minutes long. I guess traveling will not bring back time nor give you more but you feel those things again for sure and still won't remember them as it was in the moment because some things are so deep hidden in our mind, that only in our dreams, we maybe, meet us again that way. But maybe this is the secret to give us an idea of the miracle of live.

Berlin in fog

autumn is just wonderful

where could this be?

sometimes heaven is a place on earth

So... this is my live and I want it no other way, though I don't do all things perfect and will never be finished, I like it the way it is, as like I said, I live it the way I want and that's what I wish for you too and if you think you can't. Well, you always have a choice, even know that it won't always be the most likely and beloved one. But you're the game and you should go on YOUR way, then if you do... you will be more likely to become happy and free. Sounds like from a book you have seen a lot but sometimes all we have to do with all the wise words is- think about and take them into our lives. What does those words mean to you and what should you do? Then if you'll start with this.. go on.. no one can everything from the beginning, no one changes all in one day- well some maybe, but no one can tell you how long it takes and how you'll do it. It is your way and so no one can blame you even though they might think to know it better. You can make mistakes but then... Nothing is wrong. It's like if the choice of the hair cut was a mistake- you can always make it better again... ;-)

And remember... Some mistakes will also lead you to the true friends. As I can tell it for myself that I have friends I am very grateful of. Some of them nearly know me now 20 years, some of them just ten years and some less but what will come is to see and I will be ready for the next 20 years as I have absolutely no idea how or where I will be in the future and that is fun.

And for the place to stay, that does not matter anymore that much, it is more about what I get out of it. Is it what I need and want, then I stay and if not, then I'll go.
But so is live always a hello and good-bye. Things they come and things they go as situation too. As long as you try to stay by yourself and have inner flexibility then there can be storms as much as possible outside, you'll always find a way to come through. Thought there are times you feel you will never think you'll do.

Love & Light