It is a background you will be more aware then ever and in the same time many question are popping up into your mind.
Starting maybe with the fact that you may take a walk around in your new country and try to discover new places and so you find things they made to remind people of their past and history of this land. As all countries nowadays are made of all the people who came across the ocean, people who rode across the other countries to get in touch to you.
What would we be if we never met each other that way in the past. We exchanged food, lifestyle and knowledge.
Expect those reminder on strange places as this is often the case, even here in Gothenburg you'll find those things when you walk and try to look an other way as you used to.
So I found evidence of the asian contact Swedish people had somewhere between the streets. Yes not saw them when I walked by a several times but then, it was discovered.
Of course you maybe then start to wonder how people can hate other people, strangers or refugees.
It's those looking with a blind eye that makes it possible.
And many do not take the opportunity to discover other countries to their heart when they make their holiday there. Sadly, far to many prefer to stay blind to all that could be because they have somehow in mind all they need is all they already have and they will get whatever they want and so there is no need for more but that they always could be wrong does not come to mind.
Anyway, when you start to go a new way you will come to the point where you ask yourself not only to see the difference between the old and new or to see what could be possible. You start to wonder what of all the different things may fit you and with which you may never come to make peace as some things can be compromise but sometimes you won't. It actually does not matter why, as it is often just a feeling and then the mind who declares the reason why. For other people it may not be logical but when does have feelings inside you have to do with logic.
The trouble is, that if you are a man of mind you will get confused for a short or longer time and it won't be easier when you get back to your old home and then again come back to your new place.
That is what I experience now, the different feelings of all good and bad here and back. The awareness of what I can and want to deal with and what not. The discovering that even known that I am living just now in Sweden it just came to my inner place that when I came back the other night that I had the strange feeling of being in a book, being in another country. Already realized that living in a nice and clean town, as Gothenburg is very nice and clean, it seems to me to clean, to quite and then I wonder... has the genetic of my hometown Berlin become that much part of myself that I feel less comfort with such a place like this here in Sweden? Because that is what will come to your mind. The places you're crown will make it into your flesh and the way you lived your live back then too.
Wonder then how a refugee must felt as they are not here because they wanted, more that they needed to flee. How must this feel for them. Better being on a modern place? Maybe it is not.
Also being in a foreign place makes you aware of what you like and what not, because it is always easy to make the mind stray but in new places you have no other choice then take this path and decide if you care, if you like and if not what to do and how to react.
This is much what I do now.
And just now leaving my old flat and now living in a rented room is a compromise I do as I always lived alone, but as this is not for all time, but nevertheless leaving my flat feels good as it was planed so and so.
Travel the world and living on other places as the one you know may give you the feeling of being lonely or and then being free, may give you the idea of what could be but most of all, after you felt all this it will most likely make you wonder where home is and where you will be in the next year as you may realize that you've changed from a man who believed that there is only one place of happiness and future to a man of the world and maybe you will become one of those who will live on different places all their live.
I know some of them and I for sure know I won't crow old in Sweden, as I realized that I want to discover more and more.
But so it is important for you to make friends all over the world who can not only help but teach you and give you strength just by being there. Then you maybe will also- like I - discover that you will survive somehow, even know your mother and father will not feel the same sure as you, as parents used not to do- how open they may be.
Smile about that, that's the right way.
Also many of you will feel that money is really not everything that matters to stay or to go. It is the way you feel how you want to liv your live. Thought as a single it is surely different to be in places no matter where there are.
But no matter what you do.. all comes to clear and in the end every step you do is right, thought it may not always feel like this, but it will led you to the place you have to be and mistakes are just things to learn from, challenges to take and to remember to take the word problem out of it will help you a big deal because then you will always be able to stop and do it different. How can you not win that way. And with that positive thought I will leave you for now... enjoy the autum/ fall.
Love & Light
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