Up and Down & Back again

It's quite a while since I wrote some lines.

Well, you know me right?! I was on the road again. 

Sitting now in a coffee and have to time to write about my last weeks which have been very much a challenge, as things came out totally the other way then planed. 

You remember, I was working in Sweden and came back to Berlin this year. 

It was February, after I did my holiday in Thailand and it seemed I gotta start working as a teacher. 

Here it should be a good thing but as live sometimes is, it turned out to be not like that. When all was ready to start, it all went down. The whole academy did not open and I was on route one. 

Breath in. Breath out. I started searching again for a new job and as I was in Berlin, it was logical to do so here in town. After a few weeks without any positive result I tried to see other possibilities for my future. Where could it be best to build up a future. In another german town? 

No, that was no option for me as I know I would not feel good long enough and that is bad if you want to build up something longer and stronger and new. 

So I turned around look to Gothenburg again, as I still had good contact with my old folks. 

Still had no offer to work in Berlin I searched for job in Gothenburg and was there for interviews. 

All were very interesting and went out quite well and surprisingly I got very god respond. 

But I did not felt sure all the time if this is really the place, thought no job in sight that place would be best. Turns out the chances are after all not that good in Sweden as I am only for short time work there and this is something I am quite very tired of it. Changing the place you work so often, it is only good as long as you are young. Very young and in the beginning of your working life but I think it is time that the health industry understands that one reason why so many nurses are missing is the fact that above the low money pay is the fact that you always have to start a new. Always having new people around you, always start again getting to know everything. It's exhausting and the older you are the less you fancy such. The results in Germany is devastating already and Sweden is right on to get the same result. 

But I was feeling unsure because I did not felt 100% for Berlin or Gothenburg. I kind of said good buy to the pictures I had in mind of both owns. The pictures who captured my mind through the last years. Such happen to all of us, that we start to see in one point our towns only that or this way and ignore other parts of reality. It's naturally as we can live on that way more easy.

Now then I got two offerings for en interview in Berlin when I was in Gothenburg. Finally those I was waiting for and as you can imagine. The up and down with my feelings starts again. Being prepared for a live in Gothenburg and then getting the chance to work in the town I lived next to whole my life and then work as a manager for quality in nursing and nit just a short time, well ... it made me finally do the Pro & Contra List we all recommend others. 

That list showed not a big difference but big enough to tell me Berlin was the better place. I had a lot of question on that list and finally took the three most important things. 

One- the work- the chances and what I get do next to it- well there Berlin was after the interviews in Gothenburg better then I believed in the beginning. As I don't fancy wasting time to do my next steps also in learning something for the future, Berlin gives me that chance, while I had to minimum take another year of waiting in Gothenburg.

Second- the living situation- that may be not a big thing for many, but as I lived 20 years alone and now living since 9 month just on other places but my own, it is a very important thing for me as I since a while have the feeling that living with others together getting me on the nerve. I guess, would I have been 20 or 25, it would not matter or if I always lived together with others, but that is not the case. So Berlin wins totally. 

Just to name the first both... Imagine, this is not really an easy way to decide after all I have friends of both sides. And yes - sorry folks I will not start working in Gothenburg. And yes dear folks from Berlin.. I know your eye rolling now and thinking- again?! It's confusing! 

If you feel crazy after that here you know how I feel. But now finally I'm gonna start working in Berlin and can also start going to university. 

After all those up and downs has it good. You leave things behind you had in mind and you are ready to start again, and I can start in a way that I will not change the working place all the time. But I also understood my own borders and what I don't want any longer. I try to be open but sometimes you have to admit that you get older and want things to slow a bit, that you want things to have a bit more sure and save and that you have sometimes to be egoist and ignore everything around you and just follow the best possible way. There will always be someone sad. There will always be something to compromise. Money really isn't everything. (which Sweden wins totally)

But I guess you wonder if I really stay on that point.

I won't and that's o.k. and you'll get use to it. 

Now enjoy some pics from Gothenburg.

LOVE & LIGHT