World Aids Day

..and once again we have the World Aids Day upon us, even thought they should change the name. 

Why... it's not so much about Aids, it's about HIV.

What's the difference? Well maybe you remember that on is an infection of an Virus and the other is the last phase before you die and it is caused by the collapse of the immune system. 

So HIV is not Aids but officially can cause Aids. 

Yes still people die of the infection of that virus which has the ability to hide in your - well let's say it simple- health army of your body. There it starts the destroying game.

But why is it an ongoing thing? I mean we have to talk about it again and again. 

Why are the numbers of new infection under the young people rising? Why do the most only know some pop stars who where infected and not about their best friend being it?

Should it not have changed?! I mean how long are we talking about all this? 

How come that so many don't really know about what safe sex is? Shouldn't they all be educated enough?

Did it not changed the last 5 to 10 years? We can say it did, but it is an ongoing project and it's going very slow. But we talk about this disease more and mostly open in public and politic and then? In private? Actually, less people do talk about it in private, although it is a save place, isn't it? 

Here we come to the point that in this case it is easier to talk to strangers then to your beloved one about that. It also helps that newspapers write about it and some popular people talk about it. 

Yet, it is hard to do so in private, because that means we talk about sex and so about our weakness, fears and what we know about it, what we want to admit. 

That's why it is mostly a problem to talk about sexual diseases on the job too, because it's kind of an restriction that you are a sexual active person. 

This is not the worst, but talking about having a sexual disease means also you are not only sexual, you live in sin. You are dirty, you've taken risk and you know it. Don't you feel ashamed? 

Why should we? Yes you would maybe, cos you learned it that way and as the press mostly described all sexual diseases as a bad thing, as a catastrophe, as something you should avoid and that the owner of a disease has to be destroyed or hidden, it is no wonder that talking about it is still seldom to find. 

Is this the really worst? No, because what makes it difficult is the image in our mind. Syphilis i.e. has still the tattoo of the deadly curse. Although our medicine today is able to heal you. 

With HIV or Aids you are an outcast, no matter where you live. This disease, even thought it is not the most dangerous and most frequently occurring virus, has such a bad image, that most don't likes to have it neither talk about it.

It was called the gay cancer, it was a unknown fright in the beginning, it was a disease for the sluts, for man who loved man, although under the first known victims there where women too. 

It was something only drug addicted became. 

So it can't be that an normal person next to you can have it and even now you think you have to see it in the face of another human, if he is infected or not. But the truth is, you can't see it. No one can.

The infection is much harder to get then it is with all the other sexual diseases. But most people are so afraid to touch one, that this is another reason why many don't want to talk to everyone about their infection. Because your reaction on the information has no logic. This is actually very natural. Just think about what you have learned, read and your own fear of life and it is a sexual thing, something with dead too, you have to confront yourself, all in the same moment. How can anyone react logical?

Some have learned, some do it from the beginning, cos they did not forget it's a human in front of them. 

Some will learn it, some will avoid confrontation, some will flee as long as possible. Some will rather stay blind then take it in their life. 

Yes safe sex is something you should always talk about before it all starts in bed or wherever you want to have your little fun. 

There is no perfect moment. No.

Next to no one I've met asked me about my health status. And less are aware of the fact that there is no 100% safe sex. But I believe most of you know this somewhere deep inside. That is another reason why we talk so seldom about this with our nearest friends and family. And then live is all fun fun fun... like the spots, the movies, the stars and media are telling you. Isn't it?

Now that we talk about the problem when to say it, you maybe can imagine how hard it is to tell your friends and family that you are HIV positive. 

We all will die, but here we stand on a new ground. Nothing is sure. How long? The therapies of the last 7 years are very effective and seems to have much less side effects then all the medicine before. What does this mean for you, when you have it and take pills? Will you live 10 or 20 years? What to do with this? What are the side effects in longterm? No one knows. No one even knows how long the virus can sleep in your body before it gets active. Should they not know in the pharmaceutical industry? Or are they simple not telling us, because it brings so much money, like they do with cancer. We don't even have the same test technic in the western world. You can still get a positive result in USA and a negative in Canada. 

Lots to deal with as a bearer of a virus we may or may not survive. 

So when and how to tell anyone? I mean in some countries you can't even talk about Sex. 

What is with the people on work? Will they understand? What about the girl you've just met and fall in love with? 

It is sure you will lose people, you will have your heart hurt. 

How long can one bear the secret? Cos imagine, every time you travel, you will be remind, every girl or boy you met, you will be remind and if it's even for a night, every time on the doctor and every new doctor will remind you of it, and every child you see, will make you remind, every couple who has a baby will make you remind of it, cos you know that most will be to afraid about you touching the child. Every job you do or look for, will you remind of it. 

But you are as always, the same man or women, the girl and boy with his dreams, hopes and weakness, with his strong sides and own mind. From the outside your life may not change so much. But inside, many get lost, having depression, having trouble with their body and are afraid and mostly they have to fight, but this takes times. It's never like in a movie. Mostly you go on as always and then slowly it starts sinking into you. Then the real change comes.

Of course, some prefer to hide from the truth and play as always. Sadly this is another truth but it is boost by the society. 

That's why it is so important to keep talking about it from official sides. 

That's why we have to start making people aware that having fun implies also taking responsibility. 

For your own and for the others. 

If you want to know more about HIV and other sexual diseases, there are organizations all around the world who will help you, answer to you and you can also look on the postings of my blog.. look under HIV, AIDS on the right side to this text.

So then.. after all, it is allowed to have fun, but better see then be blind, listen when getting educated and if you are not sure, then ask.

LOVE & LIGHT