2013- what a year

Now that this year is almost over, it's time to take a look at it and what can we see?
What a year -is in my own eyes the best to describe all this all in all.
Where to start with this crazy year? 
It was fast but not faster as last one and it feels like time has come to a rhythm you can start to follow again.
It was a year with a lot of questions to ask and answer. 
A year with a lot of beginnings and endings, changes and things who became stronger and things which left.
What a year, just think about the politic. The revolution is going on. People have start fighting and other kept it going on. Human rights was a big item and it will be sure the next year too. The talk of equal right, equal chance of living a life has come to mind again and hopefully will get stronger and clearer next year, cos still too many people sleep and are blind. 
Oh lots of votes where given but mostly the conservative side won and some laws who came have gone. In some countries people and politic have started to fight crime in other the crime and big lies came back. 
That we got to get two step forward and one back is not that much surprising, although it makes me feel sad, it is kind of natural. Things which have been fostered so long wont let you go so easy. It's also the fear who comes back, while you are still weak. But those step backwards remind us that the fight is not over, that we still have to grow stronger and what makes me happy in this is, that more and more people keep focusing on what they want instead of what they don't.  
Stop complaining is the best way to take away the energy from those who will want to keep you weak. May it be the gay rights, women rights, rights of children, rights of refugees or the right of animals and so on. 
If we want equality, then we must learn to focus on what we want and how. 
But other things in politic became obviously not what you had expected. My own Bundeskanzler(in) is not doing god for my country and even the selection and the game after is a joke. Or if I think about Obama, the man so many had last they hope on. He is doing a lot of politics outside the USA, but did not come far in his own country. Not all his fault but sadly but true what most had hope from outside the USA was among other things that he will keep an eye on the human rights, but it did not... not only the spying is a big shame, the prison -you know all which one I am talking about- are still in existence. It is easy to be part of the fight for the gay rights, but he has not much to do there. But more many had hoped is to bring his own country into a new future, the future that the USA may have still some of the richest families but is no longer an important country in politics and economy. The USA have been number one about 200 years, but now it's over since a long time. Actually he is not the only one leader of a country to fail to bring the people into a new future, away from the conservative and backward way. South America is now more or lesson an own area, who no longer needs our approval for it's existence. Russia is aggressive but more because it's future is dark. The emirates know very well that they have not all the time in the world and so they are very busy making money and success. Asia itself becomes stronger again and is by far further then Europe. Only Africa has still not found it's way back, but Asia and south America are producing there, while America and Europe sleep. And Israel is losing it's faith. Just now we don't see which area, which country will be the next big one or maybe we have already arrived in a time where many countries are more or lesson on the same level for next 100 or 200 years, as we had this once long long time ago in history.
So it's far from over and as much we will have good developments, we will have bad too cos there is always somewhere a shadow. 
What a year when I think about my work. The health care faces more and more the results of the politics of the last 40 years and it is no good. But nurses, doctors and so on are beginning to say what they think, want and need. That we need a change is out of question. 
Getting international is good as it is a big problem too. 
I myself have start to prepare myself for the international work and have learned a lot in managing the quality in nursing, nursing homes and around this area. It's a challenge, but the right one for me. I can say I found my path when it is about the work day by day. Even though I also realized how easy it is to get away from your colleagues. Communication is everything, but sometimes it's the question of what to do first when you're in a crisis. Thought I fight hard to keep the jobs and get in the money, I found myself in a very hard talking once and felt that I did not had it under control. This is nothing to worry about, but made me remind to stay as close in contact to the people I work for and with. 
Learning also to know when to take a break is hard but I can recommend this, cos your body will be grateful for that to you. 
And this brings me to the next -What a year!
Beside the little breaks while working, you use to have holiday. Traveling to Stockholm brought me not only joy and new friends. I also had the luck to see new sides of the town and started to like it more then before. Imaging living in a wood but just 15 min from the centre. It's wonderful.
Being in Bali gave me rest I needed and an amazing healthy look at the end, but also showed me the challenge to travel alone, cos sometimes in some places I felt I would liked to have had some company of my own. But above this Bali also showed me that traveling can make you see your own home country clearer again. The nature, the art, the literature, the people, the health system and so on. Yes I love my old middle Europe. And being in towns like London and Hamburg to meet new people I met over Facebook even though it did not turn out the way as planed, it was better. Here I can just say thank you for taking me into your town and life and time. I am very grateful for that.
So what a year when I think about meeting new people, losing some and having new friends and some who moved away. Friends they come and friends they go, nothing last forever. That was once a line of a song and it is true. Although not every friend who did move is history and I also got contact to people I believed I lost. Actually this year was a year where I meet a lot of people by being in school, for work  or taking yoga classes. Also did date some and found out I had stuck in a circle of my own habits and so I started changing this too. But as much as I can recommend that- to see yourself, ask yourself, watch yourself and try the change, you should know that this does not mean every time that you will land save. It can hurt, make you fail, even if you try your best. Sure I get older and maybe that brings me also to the question when I met new people why do I like them and why not and if not, why. Am I not that tolerant? Am I not that open, but I can't help myself. Some things you simple know, as you know in the same time that it is ridiculous. But to the guys I met, I am very grateful to have met you and   just wish you the best. Maybe we did not talk for a while but this is because I thought it would be better to stay away for a while for you to get your space and time to recover. Although I met guys who suddenly never called back but so was I two or three times, even it was never meant to be that way it just became. Are we all bad people? Maybe we are  but we also we are human, so we fail and have a lot excuses. Don't we know all about this!
So what a year where I am to finish a job and start a new one in the next year, but as it is there is still time to finally rewrite my novel in the last days. And by the way, I am so happy that some friends of mine did this too. Writing a book is a big process and it is always a big day when it is finished and ready to be sold. Guys I wish you all the best and biggest success with your work!
What a year and I could go on and on... may it movies, may it books, may it art, may it knowledge, may it colleagues who face dead more early then expected and I feel with them, may it all the people who were ill this year and we had such a lot and it feels we never had this much in the last 20 years, may it be the fact that so many old people have died that you just wonder is it this time in history again where more people then ever go? But also may it be that many now realize that there is no perfect country in the world and that it is always about the question what you want. Also may it be about that it is needed for the future of your own luck to see that there is no job with just fun sides. Maybe many would be more happy, as this does not mean to smile all the time, just simple to enjoy life.
2013 -- really a big year and already next to over. Wasn't it just x-mas 2012?! But also it feels that I have changed a lot since I came back from Sweden next to four years ago. I was a young blond man and now not so blond anymore but when I see my face pic for the job search I can't see the myself I am now on it. It's like looking on a time when I was so much younger. How does this sound? Crazy a bit I guess. Sure no more a boy ;-) Even for some cloths I really liked to wear when I went out like to disco, I think it's time to say good bye. 

So this long post happens when you can't sleep cos the day you write is the last working day on the company. First time I was that long part of one. I use to slip out quietly but this time it is different. It won't be loud, but known. 

For now I hope you will remember all your happy days of this year and being grateful for them and maybe you get bigger and be grateful for the darker days too, for your mistakes and fails. 
We are imperfect but that's the beauty of this life. It makes us perfect because we can change every time. 
I wish you a wonderful x-mas and a happy new year...

Love & Light