A Christmas Carol- Nr.3

And here is my third recommendation for your holidays. 
A story about a boy named Sebastian who is running away from members of his school who try to bullying him. He has not a big luck with this and one day while he is running away from them again, he tries to hide in a store. This store is a book store and there he will find a book, the book the movie has his name from. 
The never ending story.
First he is hiding in his school under the roof and then he starts reading, not knowing that this will change his live in every way. The adventures he has to take part, the help he has to give and the friends he will make and slowly he also will understand how strong he can be. 
This is an exciting story, with turns and tears, with laughters and fears and after all with a lot of love and joy. But I should let you know that hollywood made three parts, so.... take only the first, that's made after the book, the other parts are not only weaker, they are also just made up from hollywood.
So get on- meet Sebastian, Adrian and the big turtle, meet the dragons and the princess in her tower. 

Love & Light

A Christmas Carol- Nr. 2

Did I mention the Muppets?
Well yes I did and here is another reason to mention them again.
The christmas carol they made. 
They filmed the classic Christmas Carol. Just the muppets and a few people and the most important is of course the wonderful Michael Caine. He plays the bad guy, the man without the heart, without friends, the man for only money is everything. He get's the visit from Walter and his partner, from the spirit of the past and christmas future. 
Of course there is a lot of singing and you watch muppets playing a story we all know so very well, but be warned- they may be just a Kermit, a Miss Piggy and other guys from your childhood, but they will make you weep at the end. 
All of you. Be sure it will touch you. All the story, all the singing, all the acting. 
So be prepared and get together, have fun and cry like a baby. 
You will never regret it, only enjoy it at the end. 
Cos this is what a christmas carol is about, isn't it?
So go and watch the movie... 

Love & Light

A Christmas Carol -Nr. 1

Now that it's christmas, it's also time for many families to sit together and watch a movie. Is it like in Sweden Donald Duck or like it is now in Germany with "Drei Haselnüsse für ein Aschenbrödel". 
With other words, we all have kind of a tradition to watch the same movies every years the holiday season. Although in some years they showed all the blockbusters on TV, we are now back on the family movies. I think this is a nice tradition but every generation seems to have there own. Or? 
Long time it was the Muppets- will they come back? But of course all is changing. 
Well anyway I am going to recommend you three movies, which many of my generation have and still will like to watch. 
Here is the first one and maybe the best known one too. 
Mary Poppins.
Not only that Hollywood just now made a movie with Emma Thomson and Tom Hanks about the history of the book becoming a movie, I think this fantastic musical movie for everyone is always worth to watch. It is not just because the fantasy you reveal here. It is also the story of a nanny coming into a home where the children are needed of help to get happy but most of all the father of the kids need help to enlighten himself. Julie Andrews, the nanny, is giving us such a happy and lovely time in this movie and how she flies with her umbrella and how they all dance on the roofs, those beautiful pictures you get with that are like sugar with a touch of awareness of your own live. 
It's a fairy tale and a story for a time like these. 
Well you see, I am mad about this movie and can only say watch it, watch it, watch it and enjoy the time with Marry Poppins and don't stop it before even you can't sing the long long word only certain people can sing. 

Love & Light

2013- what a year

Now that this year is almost over, it's time to take a look at it and what can we see?
What a year -is in my own eyes the best to describe all this all in all.
Where to start with this crazy year? 
It was fast but not faster as last one and it feels like time has come to a rhythm you can start to follow again.
It was a year with a lot of questions to ask and answer. 
A year with a lot of beginnings and endings, changes and things who became stronger and things which left.
What a year, just think about the politic. The revolution is going on. People have start fighting and other kept it going on. Human rights was a big item and it will be sure the next year too. The talk of equal right, equal chance of living a life has come to mind again and hopefully will get stronger and clearer next year, cos still too many people sleep and are blind. 
Oh lots of votes where given but mostly the conservative side won and some laws who came have gone. In some countries people and politic have started to fight crime in other the crime and big lies came back. 
That we got to get two step forward and one back is not that much surprising, although it makes me feel sad, it is kind of natural. Things which have been fostered so long wont let you go so easy. It's also the fear who comes back, while you are still weak. But those step backwards remind us that the fight is not over, that we still have to grow stronger and what makes me happy in this is, that more and more people keep focusing on what they want instead of what they don't.  
Stop complaining is the best way to take away the energy from those who will want to keep you weak. May it be the gay rights, women rights, rights of children, rights of refugees or the right of animals and so on. 
If we want equality, then we must learn to focus on what we want and how. 
But other things in politic became obviously not what you had expected. My own Bundeskanzler(in) is not doing god for my country and even the selection and the game after is a joke. Or if I think about Obama, the man so many had last they hope on. He is doing a lot of politics outside the USA, but did not come far in his own country. Not all his fault but sadly but true what most had hope from outside the USA was among other things that he will keep an eye on the human rights, but it did not... not only the spying is a big shame, the prison -you know all which one I am talking about- are still in existence. It is easy to be part of the fight for the gay rights, but he has not much to do there. But more many had hoped is to bring his own country into a new future, the future that the USA may have still some of the richest families but is no longer an important country in politics and economy. The USA have been number one about 200 years, but now it's over since a long time. Actually he is not the only one leader of a country to fail to bring the people into a new future, away from the conservative and backward way. South America is now more or lesson an own area, who no longer needs our approval for it's existence. Russia is aggressive but more because it's future is dark. The emirates know very well that they have not all the time in the world and so they are very busy making money and success. Asia itself becomes stronger again and is by far further then Europe. Only Africa has still not found it's way back, but Asia and south America are producing there, while America and Europe sleep. And Israel is losing it's faith. Just now we don't see which area, which country will be the next big one or maybe we have already arrived in a time where many countries are more or lesson on the same level for next 100 or 200 years, as we had this once long long time ago in history.
So it's far from over and as much we will have good developments, we will have bad too cos there is always somewhere a shadow. 
What a year when I think about my work. The health care faces more and more the results of the politics of the last 40 years and it is no good. But nurses, doctors and so on are beginning to say what they think, want and need. That we need a change is out of question. 
Getting international is good as it is a big problem too. 
I myself have start to prepare myself for the international work and have learned a lot in managing the quality in nursing, nursing homes and around this area. It's a challenge, but the right one for me. I can say I found my path when it is about the work day by day. Even though I also realized how easy it is to get away from your colleagues. Communication is everything, but sometimes it's the question of what to do first when you're in a crisis. Thought I fight hard to keep the jobs and get in the money, I found myself in a very hard talking once and felt that I did not had it under control. This is nothing to worry about, but made me remind to stay as close in contact to the people I work for and with. 
Learning also to know when to take a break is hard but I can recommend this, cos your body will be grateful for that to you. 
And this brings me to the next -What a year!
Beside the little breaks while working, you use to have holiday. Traveling to Stockholm brought me not only joy and new friends. I also had the luck to see new sides of the town and started to like it more then before. Imaging living in a wood but just 15 min from the centre. It's wonderful.
Being in Bali gave me rest I needed and an amazing healthy look at the end, but also showed me the challenge to travel alone, cos sometimes in some places I felt I would liked to have had some company of my own. But above this Bali also showed me that traveling can make you see your own home country clearer again. The nature, the art, the literature, the people, the health system and so on. Yes I love my old middle Europe. And being in towns like London and Hamburg to meet new people I met over Facebook even though it did not turn out the way as planed, it was better. Here I can just say thank you for taking me into your town and life and time. I am very grateful for that.
So what a year when I think about meeting new people, losing some and having new friends and some who moved away. Friends they come and friends they go, nothing last forever. That was once a line of a song and it is true. Although not every friend who did move is history and I also got contact to people I believed I lost. Actually this year was a year where I meet a lot of people by being in school, for work  or taking yoga classes. Also did date some and found out I had stuck in a circle of my own habits and so I started changing this too. But as much as I can recommend that- to see yourself, ask yourself, watch yourself and try the change, you should know that this does not mean every time that you will land save. It can hurt, make you fail, even if you try your best. Sure I get older and maybe that brings me also to the question when I met new people why do I like them and why not and if not, why. Am I not that tolerant? Am I not that open, but I can't help myself. Some things you simple know, as you know in the same time that it is ridiculous. But to the guys I met, I am very grateful to have met you and   just wish you the best. Maybe we did not talk for a while but this is because I thought it would be better to stay away for a while for you to get your space and time to recover. Although I met guys who suddenly never called back but so was I two or three times, even it was never meant to be that way it just became. Are we all bad people? Maybe we are  but we also we are human, so we fail and have a lot excuses. Don't we know all about this!
So what a year where I am to finish a job and start a new one in the next year, but as it is there is still time to finally rewrite my novel in the last days. And by the way, I am so happy that some friends of mine did this too. Writing a book is a big process and it is always a big day when it is finished and ready to be sold. Guys I wish you all the best and biggest success with your work!
What a year and I could go on and on... may it movies, may it books, may it art, may it knowledge, may it colleagues who face dead more early then expected and I feel with them, may it all the people who were ill this year and we had such a lot and it feels we never had this much in the last 20 years, may it be the fact that so many old people have died that you just wonder is it this time in history again where more people then ever go? But also may it be that many now realize that there is no perfect country in the world and that it is always about the question what you want. Also may it be about that it is needed for the future of your own luck to see that there is no job with just fun sides. Maybe many would be more happy, as this does not mean to smile all the time, just simple to enjoy life.
2013 -- really a big year and already next to over. Wasn't it just x-mas 2012?! But also it feels that I have changed a lot since I came back from Sweden next to four years ago. I was a young blond man and now not so blond anymore but when I see my face pic for the job search I can't see the myself I am now on it. It's like looking on a time when I was so much younger. How does this sound? Crazy a bit I guess. Sure no more a boy ;-) Even for some cloths I really liked to wear when I went out like to disco, I think it's time to say good bye. 

So this long post happens when you can't sleep cos the day you write is the last working day on the company. First time I was that long part of one. I use to slip out quietly but this time it is different. It won't be loud, but known. 

For now I hope you will remember all your happy days of this year and being grateful for them and maybe you get bigger and be grateful for the darker days too, for your mistakes and fails. 
We are imperfect but that's the beauty of this life. It makes us perfect because we can change every time. 
I wish you a wonderful x-mas and a happy new year...

Love & Light

World Aids Day

..and once again we have the World Aids Day upon us, even thought they should change the name. 

Why... it's not so much about Aids, it's about HIV.

What's the difference? Well maybe you remember that on is an infection of an Virus and the other is the last phase before you die and it is caused by the collapse of the immune system. 

So HIV is not Aids but officially can cause Aids. 

Yes still people die of the infection of that virus which has the ability to hide in your - well let's say it simple- health army of your body. There it starts the destroying game.

But why is it an ongoing thing? I mean we have to talk about it again and again. 

Why are the numbers of new infection under the young people rising? Why do the most only know some pop stars who where infected and not about their best friend being it?

Should it not have changed?! I mean how long are we talking about all this? 

How come that so many don't really know about what safe sex is? Shouldn't they all be educated enough?

Did it not changed the last 5 to 10 years? We can say it did, but it is an ongoing project and it's going very slow. But we talk about this disease more and mostly open in public and politic and then? In private? Actually, less people do talk about it in private, although it is a save place, isn't it? 

Here we come to the point that in this case it is easier to talk to strangers then to your beloved one about that. It also helps that newspapers write about it and some popular people talk about it. 

Yet, it is hard to do so in private, because that means we talk about sex and so about our weakness, fears and what we know about it, what we want to admit. 

That's why it is mostly a problem to talk about sexual diseases on the job too, because it's kind of an restriction that you are a sexual active person. 

This is not the worst, but talking about having a sexual disease means also you are not only sexual, you live in sin. You are dirty, you've taken risk and you know it. Don't you feel ashamed? 

Why should we? Yes you would maybe, cos you learned it that way and as the press mostly described all sexual diseases as a bad thing, as a catastrophe, as something you should avoid and that the owner of a disease has to be destroyed or hidden, it is no wonder that talking about it is still seldom to find. 

Is this the really worst? No, because what makes it difficult is the image in our mind. Syphilis i.e. has still the tattoo of the deadly curse. Although our medicine today is able to heal you. 

With HIV or Aids you are an outcast, no matter where you live. This disease, even thought it is not the most dangerous and most frequently occurring virus, has such a bad image, that most don't likes to have it neither talk about it.

It was called the gay cancer, it was a unknown fright in the beginning, it was a disease for the sluts, for man who loved man, although under the first known victims there where women too. 

It was something only drug addicted became. 

So it can't be that an normal person next to you can have it and even now you think you have to see it in the face of another human, if he is infected or not. But the truth is, you can't see it. No one can.

The infection is much harder to get then it is with all the other sexual diseases. But most people are so afraid to touch one, that this is another reason why many don't want to talk to everyone about their infection. Because your reaction on the information has no logic. This is actually very natural. Just think about what you have learned, read and your own fear of life and it is a sexual thing, something with dead too, you have to confront yourself, all in the same moment. How can anyone react logical?

Some have learned, some do it from the beginning, cos they did not forget it's a human in front of them. 

Some will learn it, some will avoid confrontation, some will flee as long as possible. Some will rather stay blind then take it in their life. 

Yes safe sex is something you should always talk about before it all starts in bed or wherever you want to have your little fun. 

There is no perfect moment. No.

Next to no one I've met asked me about my health status. And less are aware of the fact that there is no 100% safe sex. But I believe most of you know this somewhere deep inside. That is another reason why we talk so seldom about this with our nearest friends and family. And then live is all fun fun fun... like the spots, the movies, the stars and media are telling you. Isn't it?

Now that we talk about the problem when to say it, you maybe can imagine how hard it is to tell your friends and family that you are HIV positive. 

We all will die, but here we stand on a new ground. Nothing is sure. How long? The therapies of the last 7 years are very effective and seems to have much less side effects then all the medicine before. What does this mean for you, when you have it and take pills? Will you live 10 or 20 years? What to do with this? What are the side effects in longterm? No one knows. No one even knows how long the virus can sleep in your body before it gets active. Should they not know in the pharmaceutical industry? Or are they simple not telling us, because it brings so much money, like they do with cancer. We don't even have the same test technic in the western world. You can still get a positive result in USA and a negative in Canada. 

Lots to deal with as a bearer of a virus we may or may not survive. 

So when and how to tell anyone? I mean in some countries you can't even talk about Sex. 

What is with the people on work? Will they understand? What about the girl you've just met and fall in love with? 

It is sure you will lose people, you will have your heart hurt. 

How long can one bear the secret? Cos imagine, every time you travel, you will be remind, every girl or boy you met, you will be remind and if it's even for a night, every time on the doctor and every new doctor will remind you of it, and every child you see, will make you remind, every couple who has a baby will make you remind of it, cos you know that most will be to afraid about you touching the child. Every job you do or look for, will you remind of it. 

But you are as always, the same man or women, the girl and boy with his dreams, hopes and weakness, with his strong sides and own mind. From the outside your life may not change so much. But inside, many get lost, having depression, having trouble with their body and are afraid and mostly they have to fight, but this takes times. It's never like in a movie. Mostly you go on as always and then slowly it starts sinking into you. Then the real change comes.

Of course, some prefer to hide from the truth and play as always. Sadly this is another truth but it is boost by the society. 

That's why it is so important to keep talking about it from official sides. 

That's why we have to start making people aware that having fun implies also taking responsibility. 

For your own and for the others. 

If you want to know more about HIV and other sexual diseases, there are organizations all around the world who will help you, answer to you and you can also look on the postings of my blog.. look under HIV, AIDS on the right side to this text.

So then.. after all, it is allowed to have fun, but better see then be blind, listen when getting educated and if you are not sure, then ask.

LOVE & LIGHT