A.I.D.S.

Another monday and the sun is shining outside while I am sitting in the kitchen, having my late morning coffee and finished the trilogy Jonas Gardell (-Never dry tears without gloves-) has written about AIDS in Sweden from the beginning till 2000. A chronicle which tells us about how people got to know about that thing called AIDS and HIV. A story about what had happen in the beginning and what came after. Döden/ Dead is the title of the last book and still dead is part of the way. But as it is it is part of each and everyones way. Thought the danger has become more easy to deal with. As we now have high standard of medicine but what is the price? 

A.I.D.S- that was the first after a long time people got to know about a new disease in the 1980tis. And yes that was the way we wrote it then as it was a complex of symptoms which in the end lead to the breakdown of your immune system and so you could die of every disease. As it was that time, most had cancer, pneumonia and/ or dementia. But many had other symptoms and got ill from everything you can get ill. So nobody really knew in the beginning but people as often were fast in making fear go round. And as it was the focus was on homosexual people, thought the first who became sick of that were also heterosexual and women. But people see what they want to see, so this thing called A.I.D.S. was a treat to homosexual man and was often called the price they had to pay for living in sin. Still many people think it is that way and still we make a difference how you come to the point. Still like you can read in the book (and see in the films withe the same name) they are the ones who are more worth to be pity and those who are just ones to have to shame themself.  Although most of them don't want to be pity. 
Since 1983 it has been a long time and people are no longer that much unknown about what this thing called A.I.D.S. is but then came those letters--> HIV. Yes having a virus inside you is not the same as having AIDS. One is the last walk you take and HIV is to be a bearer of a virus. You no longer can see it on people as medicine has become better but the dream of a vaccine still lives on as it is a fact, there is no one. You can try to fight with taking your pills every day and try to survive but no one knows when you have won, if you ever can win. So dead is still nearer at the end of the street as for the common people. But after all you survive more then the two years you had back then. Isn't that good? If people just would finally learn the facts and overcome their fear. The fear they have learned and passed. The lies which were spread back then are still working. 
So no wonder the rate of new infection not only goes up because of a better therapy as it no longer seem to be a danger of sudden dead, but also the rate of young people who should know better but never had to see the dead. The use of condoms have risen but not enough and as it was mostly the homosexual who had to deal with it most, now finally the heterosexual have beaten the number of new infection with the HI-Virus. Especially young people are in danger now. But to be true this is just happening in the western world. 
How now? Well, in Africa and Asia the numbers have from the beginning included all. It's the western world who tries to deny year after year that this virus never chooses only the gay. This lie of never being a victim when you are heterosexual, they try since years to put in the head of people in Africa and Asian- the result is that they do not have the save sex if they could. But we here in the West can and should. 
Start with talking about it! When young people become adults they become sexual available if you like it or not. So we should teach them to ask before having sex. But the challenge is that we have those  conservatives who claim to protect their children because inside their have failed with their own way of dealing with being a sexual human. So their try to put their regressed sexual living into their children. And they should know better as lies and prohibitions lead to exact what they don't want--> putting young people in danger. 
Of course this theme is much more complicated as many will claim. Just read for more here: http://one-thing-to-remember.blogspot.se/2013/11/world-aids-day.html 
or: http://one-thing-to-remember.blogspot.se/2012/12/do-you-remember-world-aids-day.html  
or even:  http://one-thing-to-remember.blogspot.se/2012/04/living-with-hiv-fex-travel.html 
and : http://one-thing-to-remember.blogspot.se/2011/12/lets-risk-critical-look-at-hiv-aids.html 
http://one-thing-to-remember.blogspot.se/2011/12/einen-kritischen-blick-auf-hiv-aids.html
(or go down this blog and take the #HIV tag)
But back to today. How many people, above from the stars, do you know who are HIV positive or have Aids or have died of AIDS? How many people are talking openly about having an HIV Test to know where they stand? Have you ever tested yourself? 
We have those posters where HIV positive stand, smile and say they live an open life and friends and family and maybe also colleagues stand behind them but how many do you know actually does?
I know some. Happy and very nice people. You would never guess they have it. Being strong and smile and go to work as everyone else. Just, they have to take everyday the pills and check themself three, four times a year. Just they never know how long time they have till the end as still they know they won't live out till the -I am to old to live another day- phase. But no one knows and so it could be possible to be old, very old at the end. But what price do they have to pay? It's a chemical mix of pills they take. No one knows how long this will be good and when it starts to destroy the body. Not to mention most of the HIV positive can't come out because they would lose they job, many friends, many times also members of family or will be pushed away from all of the family. Even nurses fear colleagues while they should know better, they still have more fear then most of all the others. Funny because there are nurses who are positive- and I know some of them, but as we just now see the beginning of coming out to have diabetes, it will take a couple of years maybe, I guess, until no one in this area will fear no longer, even known those nurses should not, as they are the professionals.
So taking the step out of the shadow means to take the risk of being alone, fighting once more and above all, it means to take the harder way when it is about having a living for money/ a job. You will be free too, as hiding is taking energy you need for surviving. 
Once you knew you would die soon. Now you know you can do it sometimes in the future, but when- no fucking idea. It changes your live completely and in the same time not that much. Tricky. Once they hated you, now they still do but in another way in many parts of the world. Saying it, is also saying you are sexual and that leads people to the most learned fear of our century- the fear of being a sexual human as this is a sin. Thanks to the damn church no matter what religion. 
To make SEX a thing of the devil was the biggest lie they successful sent into the world. 
The seed of hate.
Sight.
That's what I think about when I sit in the kitchen, writing you a letter while the sun goes down. 
But there is hope as people can and do learn. 
But there will be a time we all die.
But there is always a shadow behind.
And the sun will always shine again as long human kind will be on earth. 
Stupidity is no longer an excuse.
The time for hiding is over.
The time for not choosing a side is over.
The time for cowards is over.
It's time to take the next step and get over the past as we are still living far to much in the past and so fear will blind us. 
Have trust. Shake a hand from a positive man and women, child and well human. They may be HIV positive and also positive in their attitude as we know better now.
You'r friend, your lover, your girlfriend, your mother, your brother will be the same- with or without a virus inside. Hug them, kiss them and eat with them, sleep and cuddle. And remember it is much safer to live in truth then to live in lie. 

LOVE & LIGHT

Enough is Enough

That was the name of a song not long ago and it feels still right to listen to it, but there are other reasons to think that way too. 
Not long ago in the last days of August we had these words spelling over the streets and as it may seem far away it is still near. The situation has changed so little that we have to go on telling this to all the people out there who forget to use their heart and mind and remember what it is about being human.
So some people, to be clear seven, decided to do more then lip play... They got together to gather people together to walk on the street and show off that we are real, we are worth living and loving. That it is a human right to handle things with us in a fair way and with love too. All the hate and lies are just so sad and stupid but out there so much to find. 
So we decide stopping be a victim, of words or racquets, of lies and people with hate inside and blindness. Also all this bitterness has to wash away on every side.
So we, the people, part of the folk, came. 
They say we were just 2.000 or so, but that was just when we came together to the meeting point, but when we started we already had the number of over 5.000 and became next to 10.000 over the march and in the end we still had those 5.000 hard believer for equality and the rights to love. 
Yes all started to set a sign for the gays and lesbian and transgender in Russia, but became much more as it is a fact that in many other countries homosexual get beaten, killed, punched and throw away from what they love and who they love. 
So we showed up to these countries but also after just a couple of weeks after all this started to set a sign- it was very clear, because the Olympia is coming up in Russia and Putin had some bad, new, rules and laws set in, it was time to react. 
Not only people in other countries should hear and see our acting and standing up for our and their believe, also we wanted to show our own government to stop the silence, to take a stand for human rights. They always talk, but never walk the walk. 
Sadly they did not react much and many believe all we did was just another kind of lip play. 
But as it happens so are people still hurting, beaten and punished for just the way they are. Just for a natural way of loving and being. 
Just right now we had a famous Drag-mother- beaten up so hard on the streets after her gig she did, that she had to stay in the hospital and frighten how it will go on, like with her eye- will it function again or stay blind?
Don't get me wrong, there are worst out there but we have to make a stop in the earliest way, like on work when someone is behaving homophobe. 
Courage is not a worth is an act. Standing up is courage.
But for this you have to know yourself and wake up, be aware of what is around and how it is meant to be or should be.
By the way- The name of that person is Gèrome Castell. And only she lived a very own way and does not look like a clichè of a man or a women, the pain was given. 
That was a waking call, another one, but a call which woke up also the press and many people for now. 
Another acting up is happing because of this and that is that there will be a Show on the 4. November in the "Wilden Oskar" in Berlin to support not only a famous person, it is also to support the right to stay alive. 
I mean you may have problems to deal with the way another people lives but no one should have the right to beat and kill you for being different. 
After all- those people, different people have given mankind so much more that mankind would be different if they would not have exist. 
Great people where those, in good and bad. 
So no matter what, I guess you will like to live in peace and that is what we are fighting for instead of fear, cos if you or someone needs fear then it shows just how weak you are, how sad you are and how unsure you are and how less you care about yourself. 
Remember that. 
And why not- decide for the side of the sun and love. It can be a challenge in the beginning but it is possible and in the end more easy to live up to then hate and bitterness and things like this.

still so many countries who fear homosexual and wants to  kill them

it can rain, but love is never giving up

remember those who can't be with us and are death because they do care to love

and here we have the flyers for the support show... come if you can.. Revolution of LOVE is only real when we live it!

LOVE & LIGHT

Some things are better left unsaid..?

Greetings from Russia

Sometimes it seems that some things are better left unsaid for good, but then sometimes it's a law who makes you think about that.... Like in Russia this time... St. Petersburg.
There is a law which say it is not allow to say the word gay or to show a picture of that, or that a man kiss a man on the street or two woman kissing.... it is also not allowed to say something similar, which means gay... first... it's a big surprise that they say yes to this law, cos I read that St. Petersburg is the hometown of russian culture... was I wrong? 
Second, do they not have better things to do? I mean they have a lot of problems which may need more lightning then to say to the gay.. make Love just at home and don't tell about it, don't write about it.... I mean part of a culture is also the press.. but with this law, no gay press is able and no parade... no sign of pride to be who you are.... 
Are the gays the next jews?
'Cose the jews had to flee after the german wall was broken and so the culture in Europe changed.... Seems not always in a good way. To be true this is sad...!

But you know what is crazy and on the other side no surprise... I read that a newspaper ask over one thousand people about the law and whether they have ever seen advertising for gay and the answers were: 94 % never saw anything like that but 84% think that the law is right...
Something which seems familiar. 
How? Well let's take a look to elections... the highest scores for right parties are to find where the less numbers of foreigners are. The more foreigners the people know- the less vote for the fascists. 

But there is a right which should be able to live everywhere... it's the freedom of speech... 

I read from a russian woman here in Germany that the german should not meddle in foreign affairs.
Right we have our own problems but after so many years Russian told us what to do and especially the people in east germany... ( the USA did this with the west part of Germany too) I think we have the right to say and the need to say and look what is going on, 'cos maybe we have learned what the russian seems to have forgot... The way to democracy is no easy way, but I don't tell you to do it exactly like we did, but I tell you to think about what you do... 'Cos gay and lesbian are people to accept and to live together with... they are no criminals and that is another thing why I am so up.... the law put gays on the same level like the pedophile! THIS IS SIMPLE A SHAME! ' COS THE GAYS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH PEDOPHILES!!!!!
Well it's o.k. not to like seeing people kissing each other on the street but this is a thing we have to live with in a free world, in a world of peace - if you want to have a world in peace- Love is a pure thing and you can only live it but deny it you will get sick... that's a common truth and something we will learn sooner or later in our lives. But it's a stupid thing to say I don't like kissing gays but do like heterosexual  kissing each other... So before you forbid- get to know them and learn... those gays are very much o.k. if you let them... and crazy people are everywhere... this is nothing which has a sex.

So my hope is that the rest of the country sees that and that the law will be destroyed with wisdom and the knowledge of the common things we have together... but be sure me and many of my friends will never stop lookin' at you till you learned the lesson and till open your hearts... and minds.... 

LOVE & LIGHT

Patrik 1,5

Because I am flying in a few days to my second home again I had recently watched a Swedish movie on DVD to refresh my Swedish. The film is called "Patrik 1.5" and is about adoption by a gay couple, but something is different than expected. As in real life too and that made me think of friends who might get a child within surrogacy or about a couple some can expect a child soon, to whom they can give a home. Both couples are lovely and I really which the best for them but for now both got other problems to get through.

And so I think about that in Germany there is even difficult for heterosexuals to adopt and surrogacy is banned at all. Which means you have to look for a mother outside the country and can't even be sure that the child will be yours 'cos the law.

For myself, as a single in a long period of time, the question of having a child is certainly one with two sides. Surely we can adopt their own, but it costs a lot of power and money and is considering the current situation probably greater responsibility and challenge than they did 30 years ago. On the other side, I was never thinkin' about adoption of children alone, always wanted to to it with a life partner.

The reality now is, it's even hard to adopt as a gay couple in Germany and the laws are not much better then ten years ago and moreover, many countries don't want to adopt children to gays. But above this, you try to plan and to explain how you would do the things you have to do when you have children, but then... what if situation changes? The laws are not on your side....

What if.... have you enough friends to help you, enough strength to go through, your parents still behind you?

Still so many people never think about this and just have children, no matter what and sometimes they have them just because it just happens, never was planed but couldn't change.

Am I thinkin' to much of it and do worry to much, cos life can always change in a way you never planed?

When you look at friends which are goin' through some mad and when you look around and see how difficult it can be to educate your child, or all the people which still think a child should only grow up with a mother and a father, it might seem you got a lot of warning.

So... still no Partner in sigth... Should I let this go forever and let it be... just be someone who never will have children like some others too, like a Girlfriend who is now too old???

But everytime I read about this and see a film about it -it's like a wake up call and I think, I would like to be parent. I'm sure I can be a good one.

Well I'm much aware of the fact that this is not the most important problem in the world.

And yes, I'll always say let's see how the way of life goes- the world will not go under because of this.

LOVE & LIGTH