It's the end of the year and so... (part3)

I like winter. It shows the nature pure and very clear. Especially if it had snowed. Then you can watch the earth beetween the trees and find a new landscape. You see how big thinks really are or with a lot of snow their becoming bigger then before. Very much like a look back on a year. A silent and -take your time- look back can make you see thinks clear. 
So what is a good year? Was it a goood year? I guess a friend of mine is right. It needs, luck, bad luck, lessons, challenges and happiness. It needs laughter and cry and fighting and letting go. 
So more or lesson a bit of everything as long we see our lessons and still get up on our feet- that is what makes a good year. Mostly. 
 
Looking back at my working year, it was absolutely stuned andhad a lot of changes and I had a lot to learn, to get through and to understand. 
For me it was a very special year as I started my year with a new job, because I could not stay at my old working place. Not because things did not went well, it was simple that my place was just for a limited time. So I had to leave and start again on a new place. Well I started working for home nursing- means where nurses drive to your home and help you there, so you can stay home insteadt of being in an old peoples house or in the hospital. I worked there as a manager of quality and some times as a nurse too, thought I never imagined coming back to that area of nursing. I help building up this new company and mostly first I hade to correct things. A lot of work in a short time, but the results were really god as the control test of the insury company gave us the best note. Sadly the stress and bad conditions and so the bad start made that my boss changed her attitude and way of being with her staff. She became not very nice and hard to deal with. But the biggest challanges came from the mother firm who never cared about our situation. They never wanted to work with us, we just had to take it as they thought it should be. Capitalism in it's pure form it was and the price had everyone to pay. This and other reasons made me feel bad going to work as I had a very uncomfortable feeling in my stomach every morning, because too many things did not went the way it should and trying to make it better did not help much and then there was too many things not really legal or in the grey zone. Much to think about like how much are you able to take and how much do you have to eccapt. What are you worth? For them it was clear and for me... very clear and so I fired myself as this was the best I could do and after all, I had done all that was needed to build up and make it work. Short time- the shortest time I ever worked for someone. 
Another lesson was also to not take the first job if you are not really feeling god with the decision. 
I found with this job back to another side of mine which I forgot to cherish once in a while. So all things have its good end. 
So new job searching and as I was ready I not long after that decided to try it in Sweden again. 
Lucky me, I got the chance to vote where I want to work as I got more then one, two, three positive results after my interviews. 
Well being in another country and also work there is something to do when you are fearless. 
Yes, my head went hot in the sommer when I started work. I could speak swedish already, but it was a long time to have it 24/7 around me. Not much space left for other things.
Now I am at the end of this journey and I can say I had big luck having great collegues and even thought all went different as planed and hoped, I hade fun working. 
As it is, I had to decide again what to do as things did not went the way as hoped. So I looked up my chances in Sweden and in Berlin my home town and unfortunade but lucky me, I got the positive result to work in Berlin for a company I had hoped I could work for and the best thing is, it will be my new way, as nusring will end with my last day in Sweden (which is also the last day of the year). My new jobb will also give me the chance to study and this was never a think I planed all the years. I never thought I would like to do that. But now it seems right and I don't care my age. 
Nursing will end and so this working on every place and in next to every kind which is existing is kind of logical in the end. The circle is closing with this and that is another reason why I am very calm about my future. I have learned my lessons and I am happy for the next step in my working life. 
As it is, I was already thinking about this new way. Being a teacher for nurses. 
I can imagine myself doing this jobb and then with the years taking over more the boss jobb and being kind of a Dumbledore. Yes with such cloths, smile and beard. :-)
Who knows. :-)
But also so many things in private life came to an end and others are now ready to start their time. 
It was absolutely all but an easy year, but one of my happiest.
I enjoy the freedom I take and have and all the things I am able to do.
I enjoy living the way I do.
I sure have my ups and downs but more and more their becoming seldom as I feel more and more just good. 
I can now find easy luck and joy in little things. 
And I am not even far as I want to be- there is a long , long way to walk but I have a hunch, no matter what- I stay positive. As I see many things changing now around me and I understand quite some of them, the reasons why and the way they are, I am curious to meet new people, seeing more countries and keeping in contact with those I know as long it will be. 
There is a time for everything. 
And that is good.
 

Love & Light

To find a job in another country

You maybe have read that I have come to Sweden and am actually working here but how did I do this and why in the world Sweden? 
Well, first of all, the love to this country became slowly bigger with the years I was visiting this country and my friends I have there and got over the years- so each year a new one- kind of. 
It was one day that I came out of the plane and breath the air and the first though was - home- in swedish. That was the moment I knew I will try it but before I cold look out for a job I had to learn the language. 
It took me three years to be ready and this is something all should think about before moving to another country. Because most jobs need you to talk to and the understanding of people. So you need to be able to talk about minimum 1000 words and to understand about 3000.  Sounds not much but in our every day life we use about 300- 400 different words. 
So three years is a realistic plan before you actually start for seeking a job. 
Well, some jobs do not need that much knowledge but be aware that the language is most important if you will succeed. Because after all you will need people and friends around you who can tell you things you never learn from a book, you'll never watch on TV. In time of Facebook it is a good thing also to search for people to get to know from  the country you want to move to, because they can help you with ideas where to look out for a job. It's very different from country to country so look out for that at home, on the internet, on the webpages of the town you want to move to or from the country. Those webpages use to have good advice where and how to search for job and what you need. 
Now back to my own journey. After three years, I searched for job and this was about to find a summer job, which means you just work a couple of months while others have holiday. This is a good chance to test and start a life in another country.
And while many will give up everything home, I did not gave up my flat, which was very good although I rented it to the wrong people and could have payed the same if the flat was not rented. But so is life and I can now recommend only to rent to friends or take an rent office to help you and make sure you get the right people. 
So I started my work in a little town in south Sweden which is around 2,5 hour away from Gothenburg.
This is something you should think about too. Start somewhere if able and see how it goes and if you start in a small town then you have also the chance to see if you can get through times with not much going on around you. Usually after the first job it is easy to get a job for a longer time or the next job for a couple of months. But as it is these days, maybe you have to go home and work there again and then try another time again in another town. So don't have to much baggage with you. 
How to send an application? This is something you should find out first after learning the language. For it is also a very different thing from country to country. In Sweden most job are to find on the internet and you send you interest per e-mail. And always write in the language of the country but be sure you can speak the way you write. They expect you to be that good what they read. 
Next thing is of course to make sure that your certificate is valid in the new country or you have the version you need. Make sure they except your education. And find out what is different from the way you work in your country and the way you do the same job in the new homeland, because this will be one of the questions when you have your interview. 

Now this time I had not only the luck of a short searching time (last time it took me next to a half year) I also knew where to search for job because I had already the plan to stay for longer then just three, four months. So I searched in Gothenburg, Stockholm and Borås, which is an hour away from Gothenburg. 
So the pics you see in the end of this blog are all from Borås, a very nice but little town not far away and because I trained my swedish all the years I could vote for the job I thought was best for me and the future here in Sweden. 

So... Be positive and have many good reasons why you want to work on the new place and what makes you able to work there. Some jobs are more easy to get as others but never forget after all no one needs you, so make them needing you. :-)
And then, three years is also a good time to collect some money on your bank. You will surly need it. It is never cheap to move and search for a new job, new home and new friends. 

And if you have all this ... well don't be shy to speak and tell people to correct you if you speak wrong or use words which are right but don't fit in. Even say thank you as much as you can and show them that you understood what they said. That way they trust you more and will also be more sure about you, because after all the most care about you. 

See, this does not sound too bad, doesn't it. It's like with so many things in life, be free to do what you want, but try to be smart with that, because success will be more able that way. And of course you have to want it in your heart and take it in the same time easy as possible, because your luck does never depend on the way you planed it, it depends on the way you think.

So think positive and take it as it comes. Even know you'll be afraid or feel this little fair in the back of your heart. It is always worth it. As long you are open for every test, you'll get through it.

LOVE & LIGHT

go on the pic and you have it big

Sweden and a new way has open up

What a beautiful day. The sun is upon the sky, it's warm and summer is on it's best. No holiday season for me but a new job and a new town and new challenges. 
Again my ways have lead me to Sweden. Gothenburg is it now where I started my summer work as a nurse for people at home who needs help and for old people in nursing homes. 
Thought the education is the same in both countries the work is quite different. As a nurse in Germany you have to do a lot of work which includes washing, taking off and on the clothes of people, making the meal and then of course all the classic nurse things like all around the medicine, discussion, advices and working together with the doctors. 
In Sweden it is more about administrative working and thinking, talking a lot, having discussion and doing advices and giving out the medicine and also do a bit of doctors work and taking all the blood to the labor. So, while in Germany the work with nurse assistants is very close and you have a lot heavy body work to do, it is in Sweden less working with the assistants and no heavy body work, though you talk a lot with the assistants and tell them what to do, for they are allowed to to more then in Germany- like giving medicine -the nurse made sure before. 
And while taking a blood test as a nurse in Germany is only allowed in hospitals and doctors practice it is a very common thing in Sweden to do. 
A challenge for me, as this was five years ago my last time I did take a blood test on someone else. 
But as it is I have the luck of colleagues some came from other countries too so they know very well the problem you can get into when you start a work in another country and with this I also mean the language. It's best to know more then some words otherwise they will not help you that much for this is too much work for them. They already have enough to do with they own work and so helping you a bit is o.k. but you have to understand them. Especially when you are going to work with a lot of people and even have to make calls you should have a good way into the new language. 

Just now it is the summer job and then the next one till the end of the year, but back to the summer job- things go on a bit slowly in many ways for it is holiday time in Sweden and this means that many people are not to reach, to ask or even the bureaucracy can take time cos many stores and offices are simple closed the hole month. 
And as we talk about bureaucracy, well it is everywhere your luck with the people who work in the offices. So same old story in most countries. Have patience and be positive, know your rights and don't be shy to sometimes to protest what they may tell or write you. 

But where do I live now? Not in Berlin, although I still have my flat there but for not long. As it is in Sweden it is known that you have to have your luck to find a flat or a house to rent or by is a thing of time and big luck and of course the connections you have. So I am a lucky guy to live and rent a room at a friends friend home. Because without your personal number you won't get much here and won't get far as this number is kind of the most important thing in every day life. This number gives you the right to go to a doctor and please for help and not paying all on your own. This number can give you a mobile you need for private life and job. This number gives you the right to rent a house, a car or whatever. But be sure you don't only have this number, make sure they write you in the book of folk- kind of, because then your are to find in the system and then you are free to do all the things I named. Otherwise it is just a register number who doesn't help much and you are paying for everything but have no right t.ex. for health insurance. 
If you now think this is enough with challenges, you're wrong. What you're gonna eat. This is to find out and so I am out shopping on different places, looking on the prices and quality and taste. As much as I already know a lot of the food in Sweden, there is still much to learn when you live here and really have to buy for life. Sweden is after all not a cheap country, even though your wage is not the baddest. 
But going out is really expensive as a you may heard. The alcohol is a kind of bling bling hobby. Be sure you have money on the bank. A big beer can cost you around 9 Euro. Just one. But surly when you're out in summer in Sweden enough people will surround you because it may cost a bit, they do go out, have fun and meet friends. 
A thing I am very grateful for is, having friends, because I already have some friends in Gothenburg and this makes everything a bit more easier and I have someone I can ask. 
Last time, five years ago, I had some friends too, but I was not living in Gothenburg and worked in a little but very nice town called Skara. So it was mostly to be on my own which was fine and a very strange and good experience. But knowing my friends around me and being able to visit them in an half hour is making this new stay here much easier. Cos this time the work and the earnest and the new direction of my own future makes it kind of a hard work to get in. 
The first days I had my problems to hang with all the things and what people where talking. My head was telling me to take it slowly but I wanted to hang with, then my ear became hot for two days because I so much tried to listen, but here you see, you can be good in the new language but it is a difference if you have to deal with it every day. And I was so tired as I was never before when I started a new job on new places. Now all became much better. My brain does not need so long to start and become warm like a car to work best and my ears can hear better and better and all the slang and accents become better to understand for me and the times I feel tire are fading. Still there are challenges I know are coming but I will make it through everything. 
You know last time it was to prove if I could ever live and work in Sweden. 
I found out I could and felt home and do it till today. Last time I decided to move to Sweden but things went another way which I am lucky now. 
Now I tell you that I try it again and in the same time it's kind of moving for real. Cos I belong no longer to Berlin, though I have a lot of dearest friends there but also a lot all around the world. But you know, I just take it step by step now for I feel that if this seems not to work out at the end, it's less a problem, it's just the way it is. So I try my best and see what's coming. 
Maybe that's the real change when you visit and learn and live in other countries. The place you live is a place you live as long as it is meant to be and you have easy to go on to a new place. 
You can read and travel that way, but you learn more when you really travel and with that I mean not only the tourist streets but also to take the sideways. 

Is it about the people? Or is it about the work? I think those both are part of the decision but at last it is something inside you that makes the real decision to move to a new place. And when you have traveled a while and have also friends who did and do, you also learn there is always something to compromise. 
Well, then you .. maybe, you just do, because you feel free to do, although everyone is free to do so but most of us are so into the -but- and -if- and have reason they tell you, all because it's just the fear inside of change, of the courage you have inside. 
Sure many people will move to another country because it seems so much better and the work is better the people are nicer and on and on, but most never really took the sideways, never really stayed a longer time to really see how people live, work or even talk, many forget to watch TV or read the newspaper because if they did they would learn a lot about the country. So for many it is a big surprise when they do the move and suddenly all seems different. Some give up, some learn some never learn but stay. This is the way we do when we move. But to be true, however you do it, it is always right and when the time is over, then a new way is on to be walked through. You maybe live in Sweden and while watching the TV program you learn to become a lover of Great Britain. So maybe your steps will lead you there at the end in a couple of years. Everything can happen.
And now... some pictures I took...

"midsommar" in the park

one of the many ferries 

licorice ice-- you'll want it, it's like a drug!

these are very typical flowers in end of spring/ beginning of summer

this is actually a tram station under the earth and it looks much like being in Stockholm

3 big hotels, but actually it's the same and on the right side you come to the amusement park #Liseberg

yes swedish summers can be light and hot

not without a bus

this is also a part of Gotheburg

part of the central station where you wait for the busses

being inside the university Chalmers which is on the Lindholms piers 

next to the central station we have all the trams... 

LOVE & LIGHT

Terror of a mobile...

To be true it's the terror of many... owners and their very own mobile... or better the newest one...

Well I like to have my own too, it's a very nice little thing you can call and write with and make some pictures...it's absolute something I think which can make your live easier but then... It's everywhere.. seems everyone has one... also the children... why do have 5 year old children a mobile?

 My nephew, when he was not even two years old, he knew how to scroll, how to touch, how to put a mobile on and off, how to find the pics and how to make pics with an iphone. 

And then everywhere I am, no matter is it in a tram, on the street, in an restaurant, in the cinema, in the closet, waiting room... just name it... there is someone with a mobile, talkin' or playin'...

Even at work the stuff is using these things. And I wonder, can't we really, can't we live without them anymore???? Seems like these things became a part of our body and we wonder how and when the computer will tell us how to live? I mean we are so afraid of computers being out of control, having there own "mind" and thinking, that they learn.... and then we could be victims of them... Well, we already are... the computers already learn and think, it's just a simple way they do, but they already do and no one is afraid and even aware of that.. seems like that... 

I mean why in gods name do we have to write an SMS in our workin' time? Why do we write them when we talk to each other, no matter if it's part of the work or in an restaurant? Why is this thing more important then the work you do or the people on the other side of the table? Why can't so many leave their very own mobile home the time they work? Mankind had always survived without these, so why do you thing you could not anymore????

And then, why must it always be the news model? I mean look at the pic down, millions of old cell phones are landing somewhere. We have more of them already as garbage as people living on earth.

Seems the industry has made us very stupid just to follow them and do what they say.... oh we're such slaves... must be bit stupid... blind and lazy... 

Oh I am sure you have a lot of reasons why you have to do what they say and act like a fool. You really have enough to defend yourself but let's be honest... and true... no one needs them... simple -and all the things you can do with them.. well the most you don't need and oh those apps... do we really need them... ? Most of them absolutely not! I mean... why must everyone know where you are? Why do you need a weather app? 

Test have shown, that the most are not even sure to keep you save when you walk around... you know, all the numbers you have inside them, all the massages you have not delated, all the secret codes you use... most apps don't protect them sufficient. 

Well, these are just some though I have,, especially when I drive to work or when I see some of my stuff... or when I am on FB... 

I for myself have not the news model and mostly my mobile stays home. I only have it with me, when I wanna meet someone after work. Well my live is functional and I never really miss my mobile the most time and instead of playing on it and waste energy I read. 

LOVE & LIGHT

I am disabled? Bin ich behindert?

Bin ich behindert oder bin ich es nicht?

I'm disabled, or am I not?

Als Rollstuhlfahrer sind wir uns alle einig, ist man behindert. Als Gehörloser auch, oder als jemand mit einem körperlichen Handikap sind wir auch gesellschaftlich als Behinderter anerkannt.

As a wheelchair user, we can all agree, one is disabled. As well as deaf, or as someone with a physical handicap, we are also recognized by society as disabled.

Was aber bin ich, der schwerhörig ist? Bin ich behindert?

Auf der einen Seite scheine ich dies für viele im ersten Moment zu sein, da viele Schwerhörigkeit mit dumm gleichsetzten. Für Gehörlose und andere Behinderte bin ich wiederum lediglich eingeschränkt, aber nicht behindert denn ich höre ja bloss schlecht.

So stehe ich zwischen den Stühlen, erst recht, wenn man wie ich es tue, recht gut sprechen kann.

Was ich damit meine? Nun, den meisten Schwerhörigen hört man es an, das sie schwerhörig sind, da sie häufig sehr monoton sprechen, also die Sprachmelodie kaum vorhanden ist. Was aber selten daher rührt, das sie diese nicht erlernen hätten können. Vielmehr wusste man es ihnen nicht richtig beizubringen. Viele wissen nicht, das Schwerhörige sehr wohl diese erlernen können, wenn man sich mit ihnen von Anfang an richtig hinsetzt und trainiert.

But what am I, who is hard of hearing? I am disabled?

On the one hand, I seem to be so for many at first, since many equate being hard of hearing with stupid. For the deaf and other disabled people I am again only limited, but does not restrict only because I hear so badly.

So I'm on the fence, especially if you like I do, can speak quite well.

Wat I mean by that? Well, most hearing impaired people to hear it, they are hard of hearing, as they often speak very monotonous, so the intonation is virtually non- existent.

What I mean by that? Well, most time you hear it , as they often speak very monotonous, so the intonation is non-existent. But what comes so rarely that they can not learn them. Instead, they simple don't know that they could teach properly.

Many do not know very well that the hard of hearing can learn this when you sit down with them right the first time and train it every day.

Zwischen den Stühlen. Zugleich als behindert gelten und wieder auch nicht. Mein Alltag erinnert mich immer wieder daran. Treffe ich einfach Menschen, so fällt es in der Regel erst einmal nicht auf, das ich Schwerhörig bin. Die ersten die es bemerken sind die, die ich schlecht verstehe, weil sie undeutlich sprechen. Da hilft es dann auch wenig vom Mund abzulesen, denn menschen die undeutlich sprechen, haben ein undeutliches Mundbild. Noch schlimmer ist es aber, wenn sich aus gut gemeinten Gründen Menschen bemühen deutlich zu sprechen und dabei sich zu sehr anstrengen und alles "steif" wird. Wenn versucht wird die Buchstaben besonders deutlich sprechen zu wollen, weil man meint, das müsse doch helfen und dann sind sie erstaunt, das ich weniger verstehe, als wenn sie ganz normal weiter reden würde, nur ein wenig lauter, das würde oft reichen. Wer leise redet sollte mich ansehen, dann kann ich zusammen mit dem Mundbild ihn verstehen.

Missverständnisse gibt es aber immer wieder und da, da merke ich dann das ich behindert bin- oder doch zumindest eingeschränkt.

Und telefonieren? ich habe das Glück das dies in der Regel gut geht, auch wenn sehr viele denken, das würde gar nicht gehen. Tut es aber. Lustiger Weise kann ich besonders dann Menschen gut verstehen, wenn diese schnell sprechen. Etwas, was auch nicht Hörbehinderten Probleme bereitet am Telefon. Hier hab ich einfach den Vorteil der Übung durch Konzentration.

Between two stools. At the same time as having a disability and are not again. My every day always reminds me of it.

When I first meet someone, the usually do not se me as a hard of hearing, but the first to notice it are the once that I can understand bad, because the speak indistinctly. Reading lips does not help, cos first it is hard to read and not even nice to look at them. Does not make it easier.

But if someone tries to be very nice and sometimes they really try, than it becomes a too much of a test of goodness. I can't even read the lips when you try to spell the letters to clearly. But if you speak very low then just look at me so I can read your lips.

But yes they are misunderstandings of course and these are the moments I see I have something which can keep me bit outside the round.

The funny thing is calling.. most think I can't take a call, but the truth is I can most of the time and particularly when someone is speaking very fast. That is something I can take very well 'cos I learned to concentrate myself so much when I call someone, that a fast speaking people does not strain me. The benefit of exercise.

Laut Gesetzt sind Menschen gleich viel Wert. Sind sie das? Bei all den Vorurteilen die es gibt?

Sind wir gleichwertig? Liegt es an der Gesellschaft ob ich es selber so sehe, oder auch an mir selber- mir dem Behinderten?

Ich sehe mich absolut als gleichwertig, auch wenn die Gleichbehandlung eher Theorie als Praxis ist für Behinderte, aber da stehe ich wohl auch zwischen den Stühlen....

According to the law that people are to put in the same value. Are they? With all the prejudices that exist?

Are we equal? Is it the society how I see it, or is it even to me - me the disabled?

I absolutely see myself as equal, even if the equality is rather a theory than practice for the disabled, but since I'm probably on the fence....

Meine Erfahrung ist, viel liegt an einem selber. Ob ich mich behindert fühle oder nicht, unabhängig, was der Staat mir für ein Label gibt. Vorurteilen begegne ich einfach damit, das ich sie kaum bis gar nicht wahrnehme, weil ich schlicht einfach blind dafür bin. Verstehe ich jemanden nicht, sage ich es ihm und bitte um eine Wiederholung, selbst wenn er es dreimal sagen muss. Ja, manchmal sage ich dann aber auch nichts mehr, da ich schlicht einfach zu müde bin es immer wieder in Erinnerung zu rufen. Viele vergessen schnell das ich schwerhörig bin und so ist es mir manchmal einfach lästig, in einem Gespräch zum x-ten Mal daran erinnern zu müssen. Es kann sehr anstrengend sein, zuzuhören.

Die Technik die mir helfen soll, hilft nämlich nicht 100%. Aber sie hilft mir sehr viel.

My experience is that much is up o you. Whether I feel handicapped or not, regardless of what the state gives me a label. I face Prejudices just so that I can hardly or not at all perceive, because I'm just blind to the plain. If I do not understand someone, I say it to him and ask for a repeat, even if he has to say it three times. Yes, sometimesI say nothing more but and change the subject or just listen without givin' an answer like when I am on a party. It's because I'm simply too tired to ask again, to make others remember to recall or speak better. It can be very tiring to listen.

The technology that will/ should help me, that is not 100%. But it helps me a lot.

Wenn ich einen neuen Job anfange, dauert es oft lange, bis meine Kollegen sich sicher werden, wann ich etwas verstanden habe oder nicht. Sie lernen auf einmal einen neuen Umgang mit etwas, das ihnen vorher kaum oder gar nicht begegnet ist. Ich habe gelernt, dies zu verstehen und zu sehen. So, wie ich lernen muss, sie zu verstehen, so lernen sie, mich zu verstehen. Der eine akustisch, der andere die Reaktionen.

When I start a new job, it takes a long time until my colleagues are sure when I understood something or not. They learn at once a new approach to something they did not know before or just a little of. I've learned to understand and see this. So, as I must learn to understand them, they learn to understand me. One acoustic, the other the reactions.

Heute lebe ich in einem Deutschland, das mir die berufliche freie Wahl lässt, wenn auch eingeschränkt. Jedoch, solange ich einen Weg finde und andere überzeugen kann, das ich diesen oder jenen Job vollziehen kann, gibt es keine Grenzen. Es gibt schliesslich auch schwerhörige Sänger, Schauspieler, Lehrer, Journalisten und Ärzte. Es ist alles also auch eine Frage von... was traue ich mir zu? Denke ich aber was ich hätte werden dürfen in der DDR, so wüsste ich nicht, ob ich so glücklich währe. Mir standen damals 20 Berufe zur Auswahl, davon gerade mal einer, der nicht am Fliessband zu tun hatte und das war Gärtner auf dem Land. Ja, der Sozialismus betrachtete Menschen mit Behinderung, als Menschen 2. Klasse. Währe ich da geflohen? Ausser Landes gegangen?

Today I live in a country, that gives me the professional freedom of choice, thought restricted. However, as long as I find a way and to convince others that I can accomplish this or that job, there are no limits. There are finally also singers, teachers, actors, journalists and doctors who are hard of hearing. It is everything that is also a question of.... Do I trust in me?

But if I remember and think about what I was allowed to learn back in the old days in the GDR, I do not know if I would be that happy like I am today. I do not know which choice I would have taken. You must know I stood at that time 20 professions to choose from- next to all was something to do at a assembly line, only one work was different- being a gardener in the country. Well if I wanted something other, well then all must have been right in the family.. like the vote you did, and all that stuff you have to do in a dictatorship. Yes socialism is viewed people with disabilities as people second category. Would I have decided to flee? Walked out of the country?

Bin ich behindert? Ich fühle mich normal, aber ich bekomme es mit eingeschränkt zu sein zuweilen. Manchmal aber frage ich mich, ob das einfach etwas ist, was alle fühlen zuweilen. Mein offizieller Status ist Behindert, doch ich selber .... empfinde mich als was? Es gibt kein Wort dafür. Denn ich bin weder das Eine mir auferlegte, noch das Andere. Ich bin ich. Ich sehe mich einfach als Mensch. Vielleicht der Grund, weshalb ich so viele verschiede und tolle Freunde habe und am Ende auch immer wieder die Begegnung mit wunderbaren Kollegen. Auch wenn ich meine Hörgeräte nie wirklich vergesse, so denke ich meistens gar nicht dran, das es sie gibt. Ich habe auch immer mehr den eigenen Blick verändert auf die Tatsache, wenn ich jemanden nicht verstehe. Ich überlege viel eher, woran es wirklich liegt. Viele Behinderte begründen ihre Situation damit das sie behindert sind und betrachten sich als Opfer. Sind sie aber nicht. Sie machen sich zu einem. Deshalb sind diejenigen, die sich als Täter sehen unter ihnen auch so erfolgreich in ihrem Leben. Denn die Reaktion der Umwelt hat genau damit zu tun, wie ich mich sehe.

I am disabled? I feel normal, but I get to be with something that limited. But sometimes I wonder if it's just something that everyone feels sometimes.

My official status is disabled, but I myself... see myself as what? There is no word for it. For I am not the one imposed on me, nor the other. I am me. I see myself simply as a human being. Perhaps the reason why I have so many different and great friends and at the end of the encounter again and again spending my time with some wonderful colleagues...

Even though I never really forget my hearing, most of the time I do not think of them like as they do not exists. I also have changed my own point of view of the fact if I do not understand someone. I am thinking much more about the real reasons. Many disabled people like to justify their situation because they have a disability and see themselves as victims. They are not. They make themselves a victim. Therefore, those who see themselves as self- determination among them are -no wonder- so successful in their lives. For the reaction of the environment has to do ...just that, as I see myself.

nearly next to unseen my hearing

LOVE & LIGHT