good feelings and a good mood...

Last week I saw my dear "Dr Who" again and there was the part when the Doctor is landing in the future New New York... People tried to sell "happy-happy" buttons to put on your skin to be happy and in a good mood. As if we need that... But sometimes we have the feeling we need that. How come?
Actually last week I also read a book where they wrote that science has found out that the evolution had made this negative mood of fear and to see what may come up in a dramatic and dangerous way in our personal future really the most successful part in surviving as mankind. We use to think first negative. That's our nature. Crazy though. But actually seems to be very true. Also they wrote that we know that thoughts become reality. Cos they have energy and that lead us to happenings which are also what we feel and think. More interesting is, that we will not live better with less negative thoughts, but we can catch up the positive thoughts and make them bigger and so our reality will follow, even we have bad days and sad moods too and as I said they are no less negative moods, but being a human means you can change your thoughts. So little, but so hard. Right? Isn't it?!
Can we change so fast? What about three months to try it. Three months of daily meditation- just ten minutes per day? Or three months of only visualize a positive and productive future? Just three months to try, every day? 
Science has showed that this would be enough to change to brighten and broaden your mind and personality. Does this sound good? 
Well, I learned that my body is changing next to every day, every part. Most body cells live just a few days. Your taste buds just lives some hours. Your white blood cells lives about ten days. Your muscle cells are to change every three months. 
Science says that we change about 1% of our body cells every day!
So... after 3- 4 months we have changed our body cells nearly 100%!
Even your brain cells die and there will be new ones.
Your lifestyle also gives kind of a signal of how fast cells changes. Are you mostly sitting passive then it makes the cells die faster. Are you more active, then  more new cells will be born. 
So having positive thoughts can lead to an easier live, thought that sounds not possibly for many. 
But science has also shown the last 20 years that positive moods can give you a better health and a your stress hormones become less, also you surely all have heard of people who where very sick but survived or lived much longer with their disease. 
Kathleen Light has showed in her work that just a simple hug or another body contact between people every day can make your health stronger. Do you give or get every day a hug or better some more or some other body contact- like hand to hand... then your Oxytocin is getting up, which is good for your health. 
It also helps to touch the neck or the shoulder warmly from your partner and this will make you stronger, even know that a cold will come from time to time too. ;-)
So positive feelings have helped also to survive for mankind. Cos this way the possibility to find new ideas, new ways was much bigger, cos your mind is brighter and more open then when you are sad.
But those positive thoughts makes you stronger for the storms in life. The negative moods and all the fear and hate and shame won't be less they are part of our life, but we can take the power away from them. So... won't you try? Maybe you start watching after the name Barbara I. Fredrickson and the you read about the numbers of results so many scientists have got. Maybe that makes you believe it more. 
Or maybe you think of a day which went bad and then tell me how you feel and then think of the same day, how everything went well or turned out another, positive way... Like: you could be angry that you woke up late and the time is short and your kid is screaming after you and you just think, why me and shit and how many times do I have to tell my kid not to scream after me.... Or: you wake up late and smile you have slept well and longer and that it was time for that 'cos so long ago that you woke up not too earlier and now you see the sun outside the window and so you smile, although the time is short you just change your planes for the day and while you hear your child scream you ask yourself what's wrong and go to your kid and hug it and say that everything's o.k. and maybe you cuddle a bit together before starting the rest of the day...
What if....?
Maybe...!

LOVE & LIGHT

Dicke Mädchen/ Heavy Girls

Another movie to recommend and this movie is a low budget film. 
It's sure no "Hollywood" style, but very pure. 
Made in Berlin in Marzahn. It shows very pure and easy the way of living in east Berlin and so the colors are quite a bit unusual for most of us to watch in a movie.
But don't give up and wait a second when you see the movie on TV or DVD.... It's worth the waiting.
The movie is hard to put in a genre, cos it's funny but not comedy, it's sad, but not a sad film, it's earnest but not a dull movie. 
The film has some moments in silence and then others in action. The talkin' is very natural and the acting too. 

So this film is first of all a film about the simple live- live itself, then it is a film about a mother and her son, who is living with her, because she has dementia. At least the film is also the bitter sweet version of a love from two people coming up. 
What I liked is, that all the cliches and stereotypes where broken and you feel real good with this. It also shows that we may think about how we act with older people... and yeah with people who are not mainstream. 
The grandmother in the movie, the actress is actually 89 years old when she made the movie with her grandson. She is so lovely. 
The story has some turning and all of them are very good to follow, even you will be surprised but never be disappointed. 
I must confess that I smiled most of the time watching the movie and can only recommend it to watch for everyone, cos seems the movie has touched very different people in different countries where they showed the movie on festivals. 
So... a little but very much worth time out for you... except you only like the hollywood style, then this movie will maybe be to much for you...

LOVE & LIGHT

Heute, in der S-Bahn...

Heute auf dem Weg von der Arbeit, in der S-Bahn sitzend, erlebte ich folgende Situation. 
Vor mir eine Mutter mit zwei Kindern, die auf einen Mann, der nebenan sass erst irritiert, dann etwas mit Unbehagen und zum Schluss mit Ablehnung reagierten. Es war zu erkennen, das sie ihn als eher gefährlich und unangenehm einstuften. Die Mutter jedoch erklärte den Kindern nichts und reagierte auch nicht auf deren Reaktion.
Was nun aber war an diesem jungen Mann so besonders? 
Ich hätte es meinen Kindern erklärt.
Er war jung, sah durchaus ungepflegt und schmutzig aus und hatte seltsame Bewegungen, Reaktionen und Aktionen.
Er hatte sichtbar Zwangshandlungen und Ticks. 
Er blätterte in einer Zeitschrift, hielt an, sagte etwas für uns unverständliches, blätterte die Zeitung zu, machte Gesten, als wenn er sich etwas versichern wollte, drehte die Zeitung zweimal um und fing von vorne an, immer und immer wieder. 
Ein Zwang kann jedwede Handlung sein. Die Logik erschliesst sich dem aussenstehenden meist nicht, aber sie wiederholt sich von ein zweimal bis unendlich viele Male oder acht mal und dann Pause und von vorne. In der Regel  sind sie ungefährlich, zumindest für aussenstehende. Das Paradoxe ist, dass der Zwang aus Unsicherheit entsteht und doch gleichzeitig den Betroffenen Sicherheit gibt, da er sich mit der Handlung seiner selbst vergewissert. 

Nun setzte sich ein neuer Fahrgast ihm gegenüber und schimpfte kurz darüber, das dieser junge Mann seine Beine auf dem Sitz hatte. 
Glücklicherweise reagierte der Mann "nur" damit, das er seine Beine runter nahm und sie kreuzte. Eine Schutzgeste. 
Jedoch fingen seine Zwangshandlungen an sich zu verstärken und es kamen jetzt Ticks hinzu, die auch scheinbar ein Teil der Zwangshandlung waren. 
Ticks können Bewegungen sein, Gesichtszuckungen, Schulterzucken oder auch Töne, Wörter. 
In unserem Fall waren es kurze hustenähnliche Töne und gelegentlich ein Pfeifen. 
Das kann einen Unwissenden und insbesondere ein Kind irritieren und Angst machen. 
Dabei sind solche betroffenen Gefangene ihrer selbst und in der Regel ungefährlich. 
Jetzt folgte aber eine kurze Unterbrechung und er schaute scheinbar die Kinder an und sagte etwas unverständliches. 
Hier sei allen geraten davon auszugehen, das uns immer verborgen bleiben wird, was derjenige sieht und wahrnimmt. Er könnte uns als böse Gesichter sehen, oder als farbige Muster, oder als freundliche Wesen, als Lehrer oder Engel oder er nimmt uns nicht einmal wahr und sieht etwas ganz anderes. 
Denn beachte, wir können zwar die Ticks und Zwangshandlungen sehen, aber nicht, was sonst in dem Kopf eines anderen Menschen vorgeht. 
Ob er Schizophren ist oder depressiv, manisch oder Wahnhaft. Wir wissen es nicht und darum hier die wichtigsten Tipps die ich geben kann im Umgang mit solchen Betroffenen.

Am wichtigsten: Sprechen sie ihn nie an, ausser sie sind in einem Park oder auf einem grossem Platz. 
Der viele/ grosse/ weite und vor allem ruhige Platz ist wichtig, damit sie sich sicher genug fühlen können, ohne in Stress zu geraten, denn das verschlimmert die Situation für alle Beteiligten.
Zweitens: setzen sie sich möglichst weiter weg von ihm und sorgen sie gegebenenfalls dafür, das die Plätze um die Betroffenen leer bleiben, denn so bleibt der Stresspegel niedrig. Viele Betroffene brauchen viel Raum, um sich sicher zu fühlen. 
Des weiteren, auch wenn sie es gut meinen, nicht umarmen. Fragen sie keinesfalls was sie tun können, wohin er will oder ob er/ sie etwas zu essen oder Trinken möchte. Es irritiert die Betroffenen und sie können häufig mit dem Eindringen in ihre Privatsphäre nicht gut umgehen, dass heisst der Stresspegel steigt, sie werden nervös und misstrauisch und die Situation wird weniger kontrollierbar für alle Beteiligten.

Erklären sollte man es den Kindern unbedingt. In ganz normaler Lautstärke, so wie man eben Gespräche führt, denn zu lautes Reden oder zu leises sorgt wieder für erhöhten Stress und Misstrauen und kann Ticks verstärken. Den Kindern sollte man aber gleichzeitig sagen, das sie dabei die Eltern oder aus dem Fenster schauen sollen, um die Aufmerksamkeit nicht auf sich zu lenken, zum Schutze des Betroffenen. 

Wenn Sie wirklich helfe wollen, müssen sie Zeit mitbringen, Ruhe und viel Geduld. Holen sie sich dazu immer professionelle Hilfe heran. 
Es gibt den psychiatrischen Notdienst, die Polizei (bei Eigen- und Fremdgefährdung) und andere Hilfsorganisationen.  
Sollte jemand sich selbst oder dabei sein andere zu gefährden oder bereits dabei sein, rufen sie immer die Polizei und wenn es geht den Psychiatrischen Notdienst dazu. 
Sorgt immer dafür das alle ausser Reichweite gehen. Keinesfalls festhalten oder den Weg abschneiden! Das fördert die Aggressivität und das Misstrauen des Betroffenen und dieser kann sehr grosse Kräfte entwickeln, seien diese auch noch so kleine Personen. 

Sie können auch unbeobachtet den betroffenen fotografieren und Ort und Tageszeit sich notieren und dies an die Obdachlosenhilfe oder anderen Hilfsorganisationen und auch der Polizei weitergeben, wenn der Verdacht besteht, dass die Betroffenen auf der Strasse leben. Das ist gelegentlich der Fall. Leider. 

Allerdings sollte jeder Helfer wissen, das, wenn keine Eigen- und Fremdgefährdung besteht, nicht immer psychiatrisch geholfen werden kann und die Polizei oder andere Helfer "unverrichteter" Dinge gehen müssen. Dies ist vom Gesetzt so geregelt und die Betroffenen wollen nicht immer das man ihnen hilft, erkennen Hilfe nicht immer als solche oder sehen sich als gesund oder als einzige Normale an. Auch kann uns das Ausmass viel schlimmer erscheinen, als es die Betroffenen selbst empfinden, denn gerade Ticks und Zwangshandlungen bestehen sehr lange bevor sie auffällig werden und sind somit häufig bereits normaler Bestandteil des alltäglichen Lebens und der Leidensdruck hat sich verschoben bzw. die Grenzen der Eigenwahrnehmung zum Problem. 

In meinem Fall schien der junge Mann durchaus unter seinen Ticks zu leiden, denn er fing kurz leise an zu weinen und vergrub sein Gesicht in seine verschränkten Arme und schien sich mit den Händen am Rücken selber zu trösten und zu beruhigen. 
Ich wünschte die Kinder und auch der Mann der daneben sass, würden diesen jungen Mann mit weniger Unsicherheit, Unwissenheit und Ekel ansehen. Es war ein trauriger Anblick und ich hoffe, da draussen gibt es jemanden, der sich tatsächlich um ihn kümmert oder in Zukunft kümmern wird. Zu wünschen währe es ihm. Helfen konnte ich ihm in dem Moment in der S-Bahn nicht, aber ich kann ihm das Beste wünschen und ihm mit Respekt begegnen. 
Und ich kann dankbar für mein eigenes Leben sein, das sich doch so gut entwickelt hat. 

Licht & Liebe

Boston and...

yes it is sad to read again in the news, that people died of an attack. I think of them as much as I can but wonder...
Again such a stupid thing was done for what..? 
And that is what I really wonder and some other people too... above all the tragedy... Who thinks this is positive to do? 
Well, some may now say the terrorist but be not that fast and say what you may have read in the big news. Why? Because they say so much and not all is true these days or they even started telling without knowing the truth behind but as it is already happened in the past, it is happening now, that stories where told, you maybe wonder why. Because what we read seems so similar and the reaction too. It's a terror attack, we must have more army, we must have more money for police although we now this does not help in no way. 
The war against terrorist has cost already more lives then necessary and mostly not the one of the terrorist. Civil victims are very much the one who had the pain. 
Who did this since Bush started the war? He did not? It was not him?
Well, be not that sure about it. As long as I am not a fan of conspiracy theories I too much know that non can say he is the lamp. Especially not politicians. 
Especially not politicians because they too much have an interest of their own... and that means not us. So I always wonder when I read something these days.. who is behind that or this and why? What is the true story? 
To be true it is next to impossible to find out the whole truth but if you look right and left you find a lot of pieces.
So no wonder I find pics like this one who have actually a truth inside...

... The war against terrorist has a very crazy thing inside... We say we fight against the terrorist but have showed them how to do it and we still sell them our guns...

We also helped and help actually terrorist in other countries in war... (Just think of Korea these days). So "we" play with them like dolls but in the last years it turns out they know how to fight us.. So who is the real terrorist? I mean after all -we scream of more army and try to fear our own people and tell them more security is needed and cut the human rights without getting protests and at the end we lose both.... security and freedom. 

.... Does this not scare you? No, that's good. It should not but make you think and ask for the picture behind some action and maybe also why the Boston victims are more important then all the others who died the same day like hundreds of children in Afhganistan because the american soldiers shoot them to death or the dead in Palestine or the many dead in Iraq the same day. Are they worth less? Mmmh!

But there is always hope. Right. I believe so... and I also believe it is very important to focus on the positive things in life to not forget what it is about... instead of war, ...peace and love and togetherness is what we should look at. War was and will never solving problems.  And much to often we where thought to fight in the name of god, love, freedom or whatever... but we next to always we found out that we never fought for love, freedom, human rights, kindness or in the name of god. Did we ever? 

Oh yes I know what they say.. we defend... that's the biggest lie.... It's mostly for power and MONEY... But back to the good things in live... There are soooooo many.... oh dear.... soooo many... and as this one guy say:

Fighting without guns is possible.. Let the fight...NO-  Better be love and peace! Do it! Make it! Focus on it! 

Cos if you have to choose... choose love... it makes you more happy... it does... really...

LOVE & LIGHT

My 150.

..that sounds like much of a blogging but to be true if I look on blogs I follow, it is not that much and this is just because I do not have so much time and sometimes also not the theme to write about... Of course I could blog about cloths and stars, but as so many do this and as I think there is so much outside the world... well, it's just my 150. and I start with this---> my first restaurant critic...
I like to go out for dinner and so why not write my own opinion about it. Of course this is just my opinion and you could feel different at the same place or I just had the bad luck day...
Today it's the "Due Forni" Restaurant in Berlin Prenzlauer Berg. It's a mostly Pizza restaurant.
Well, I never really knew what it meant when people where talkin' about the Prenzlauer Berg style... Now I know... 
What is it?
Well first, the location has a good place, little up a hill next to a main street. It's successful and inside very classic, means.. like an easy place.. easy furnitures, easy painting, and all around the walls are words written and a lot of clocks of several towns from Germany and Europe hang up there and well the world. The logic does not appear when you watch 'em... The waitresses are very typical Berlin... easy private cloths, a mix of styles and tattoos... They are nice and smile, and also do smoke sometimes next to the guest outside.
The weather was good, so I was sitting outside and smoking was allowed and so the stuff did it too next to me. Well... 
The tables where not that clean but they had for each and every guest a paper to put under the meal you will eat... look at the pics... 
The prices are not that high but not cheap neither... but this would not be a problem if a salad would be in fact a salad... No- the Prenzlauer Berg style means... Do it by yourself... You have a knife... You have oil on the table and salt and pepper.. O.K:!
The pizza was fast ready, big and had not to less on it, but the taste did not blow me much... and could have stayed a bit longer in the oven. It was a bit to ... it should have been more crossy... like this... not that... how can I say it... I can only show you my face expression.. 
I missed to bite in the pizza. It was too soft. You understand? 
But as I said, this is Prenzlauer Berg Style. So if you are in Berlin and want to know and be part of it...this is the place, otherwise... you can find better places to have your dinner. Though as it seems many people seem to like it... maybe you can smoke there and have your kids with you without any problem. 
So 3 from 5 stars from me... :-)

LOVE & LIGHT