Donnerstag, 31. Dezember 2015

Let's have a firework!

Let's be honest, everyone loves a firework sometimes. Well, humans. We know that many animals are not liking it so much, thought the wild one seem to not have such a big problem, then our housepets. Well mostly the dogs and some cats. 
In many parts of the world in the big towns the government does the firework as it is forbidden for privat people to do it self. Then we collect and watch together, celebrate and hug and laugh and drink. 
In others people are allowed to fire up things into the air on New Years Eve. Many are very much enjoying it, especially kids. Thought, mostly it is not allowed before eleven o'clock but as a parent you will do it earlier to make sure your children have fun and are save. 
I as a big brother did this too with my little brother. Now he has his own children and does the same way. 
Many people give their dogs and cats medicine, so they can deal quite god with the loud noises and all the bustle in the air and all around. Others give them drugs to sleep it through. 
I have read a lot of advices how to deal with this situation, if your housepet is afraid. Mostly it says that you have to ignore them and play the - all is o.k. darlin' - game. But this is hard to do when you see your pet shaking and hear it yelling and making sad sounds. I mean if your child is afraid you take it in your armes and tell them everything is ok. and explain the situation. If you do the same with your pet it is more difficult to do so. They don't understand your words and will remember that this situation means danger, thought it is not the case. Not inside the house. 
Outside it is another situation and I am very angry when kids and teenager throw the cracker, the fireworks to those who walk their dog. This is really disturbing and without respect and mind. 
One should be more aware that a firework is not a child game. It is a dangerous thing and should be handled careful. 
So more and more people are aware now, that to deal with this it would be maybe better to forbid fireworks for private people in some areas or only allow it to the government to make it. I think this is not the dumbest idea and compromise to do. 
Thought when I remember last year being in Gothenburg and made a break from the night shift with my colleague to be on the hill to see the firework all over town, it was not only more then I expected as Swedish people used not tyo have a big firework- well friends told me; it was very nice to see so many people being out and give the sky colours. It is spectacular to have a firework only on one place like in Sydney, but also when you see all the sky over town sparkle in colors. 
Last year when I bought the New Year Eve german Time Newspaper I found pictures of a women who made fireworks of flowers. Nice idea and you'll get an idea with the pics I will leave here. 
However you celebrate, in quite places, on TV, on the roof or on a hill to see a firework. Give the new year a great welcome. Remember the old one with a smile and honest thoughts. Making a wishing list is not importand. Only remember for the new year to put love in what you do. Remember respect and trust in you. Be grateful for what you have and will get. Remember to call your best friends and family ones in a while and tell tehm that you want to know how they live. Ask them if they need help, if they are happy. A better present is seldom to make then carring for those you love.
Happy New Year and a wonderful 2016! 





LOVE & LIGHT

Dienstag, 29. Dezember 2015

When will they understand?

That what is happening now, is so much like 1933. Very similar situation in our politics and how people do react to problems we have now. 
Then, long ago, but not that long ago, we had also a crisis with jobs and money was not much to be found. The working situation got worse and people did wonder who is to blame and had started giving up hope. In the same time, technic became a bigger part and all became faster, much faster then most people have been used to and so they needed time to adjust. But things also got more complicated and people had to question them self, what do they want, but like today, many have never really learned to deal with such challenge and so they look out for easy ways. But there are not such things as easy ways outside and so because most know this and knew this and are/ have been afraid. 
This fear is the ground for what was coming and is going on. The fear is feed by those who want you to listen to them and want you to stay blind and hate. And blind people do we have a hundred thousand. 
I wonder if those people want to see the future and why they deny the past, the stories we know from that time or have they already forgotten? The generation is nearly dead now and no one is to explain the war, the fear and how this all was possible. 
Yes, the big parties have made so many mistakes and told so many lies that people no longer trust them and therefore look out for the small parties, because they still hope that politic will make a better future, forgetting the lesson they should have learned that politic will not make the better future especially not if the people who work in politic act the way they do. I mean as long as they are not for people, they are never to trust. But as I said fear and complicated development around, people search for easy solutions and listen therefore for the loudest voice instead for the voice who speaks the truth.
Funny thing is that just those people from far right and left claim the press to lie and lie self as much as they can, again and again. But this lesson should be learned too. Thought if I watch the reaction now and then it seems always the same. People ratter stay blind and lazy and are unwilling to take responsibility. Far to many go that way through life and wonder why hate went into there homes and time always showed them how wrong they have been, but sadly most of them prefer then to be blind for the fact that it was also their own fault. 
Now hate has become a much bigger part in our lives again and hate speech from our own people, claiming the refugees bring hate. Lies all over the way. The far right and far left get stronger, work together again against jews and homosexuals, against the future and against modern times, agains democracy and against women rights, against equality and a free thinking and mind, free speech and life. They say war is the only solution. Another lie. 
Just like before 1933, we burn books, houses, we hate and kill those who are different, we start fearing telling the truth and the far right and far left uses the words of the middle and makes it hard to evolve to come forward and make peace and have true discussions in the name of love. Just like that time in 1933 we start to write hate lines on windows, destroy busses and trains, restaurants and from helping organizations the tents and buildings and ignore the fact that this all will cost more money then making it the peaceful way. It will bring such damage to our self. 
The fact that it has also become hard to talk with those people who lead the way of hate is very much a like 1933. You can tell people the true statistic but they don't care or call you the bad guy, making up lies. Just like 1933 some countries become more and more human and modern while others take one step back in time and another one to get back to dark times and telling people it is the best for them, thought history always showed that this was and is never the case. 
And all those telling how to handle the refugee crisis are so similar to what they did around 1933 that I think people should be very a shame to like these ideas. 
When will they ever learn that love is the only way, that hate never made it better, that pushing and hurting people never brings you luck and a happy time. That future is only together to win and our big problems need each and everyone to work together. 
Yes, things need to change, like that time then, but not again the same way. Not again dictatorship, not again hate, not again the old systems who never function at the end. We need something new. Something true. We need something with focus on equality, love and respect. It will be a hard way, yes, and that is another reason I guess people run to far right and far left and stay blind, as they fear change and fear the unknown future, the fact to tell them self what they do could be wrong, what they did focus on could be a lie and what they believed that makes them happy was an illusion. 
So many people are so afraid to lose money and status and have no idea to live without the things they shop. It scares them and  makes them listen more and more to the wrong people, to hate speech and make them believe them and those lies instead of asking them self why. And they are clever, starting with nearly harmless words and being out now with the same words like the Nazis and fascists. For many people this became normal, which would have been a scandal years ago. They got used to this and blind to see the truth before their eyes. Sadly. 

Lessons will be learned and have to. That is for sure and if we go on this way we just now do, we will come into very dark times again, but don't tell me you did not know, did not see. We all do and far to less have courage. It is time to wake up for real, to stand up and make up and let lose and spread hope, love and light. 

Grateful are those who already do. Grateful can we be that so many just now are living that way to give us an idea how to do, where to look and how to talk and what we can be. Grateful can we be that people not only pray for peace. That so many help those refugees our countries are unable to manage. Grateful can we be that so many people try all they can to bring the light into the darkness and shine you a way, bring you a candle to go then alone this way, bring you warm hearts and tell you to trust. Trust in you and that love is really all we need, that money means nothing and luck is a matter of thinking and acting. That blaming others is boring and of no interest. That all you need lies in you, all the best future. 
Yes, it will take time. For some- more, for some- less. No one can tell when you will be up there again. But you will be one day, no matter how deep you have to dig. 
Grateful can we be for those who save the earth, the health of others and try to put beauty into our lives. All the music, all the dance, all the books and stories, all the paintings and other arts, all the good technic and project to clean the ocean, the earth. All the help you get without money. Money is seldom the reason why those good things happen. It is the though that there is a will for better. Grateful ca we be for those who try to teach you to focus on the positive as there is so much god worth fighting for. 
But just now we must wake up to see the dark similarities of today with 1933 in our world, in our countries. We may have less wars going on then ever, but that can only be the beginning. Less wars until we have non left must be the way. We can be great and get over this hard times. We need a change and we can make it. Just get up on your feed and act. Stop blaming, make it better, find ways!
Make them understand, those who refuse to let lose the blindness. 
Just now the fate gives us an opportunity to prove us, to change us, to get richer and bigger and define our future. Will we make it better or worse. Therefore let lose from the old patterns and figure out some new. Let's make it better. There are already great ideas out there. Have faith, trust. It's time.
We have four minutes to save the world.

LOVE & LIGHT

Sonntag, 20. Dezember 2015

journey through a year

Every year is an adventure, is a new journey in your life.
Some years have more to give to you, then you'll expected it. 
Some years are less dramatic and others have many changes on the way.
My year was literally a journey to different places, old and new ones and also in making decision where and how to go on. 
Starting with a new job in sight, I flew to Thailand to visit a friend and to discover a new and different country. I went from Bangkok to the South coast and then through the whole south from near Malaysia up to the "James Bond" Island, over to Phuket and then with the plan high up to the North and landed in Chiang Mai and took the bus down again to finally be back in Bangkok. 
A fantastic journey where I not only got to see wonderful places, but also met new people and tasted food I never eat before. But this you can read and follow from my post from this year after January. http://one-thing-to-remember.blogspot.de/2015/02/thailand-journey-part-1.html
Then back in Berlin, Germany I discovered that things went another way then planed. The job as a teacher would not become true yet, as the whole school did not open. Seemed the boss got cold feet about the financial challenges. So starting searching for a new job as I have just left Sweden. 
So starting again was not my problem as I did this several times. You know I always believe that you have to go your way and it will bring you to the places and experiences you need and want to go. Sometimes time is ready, sometimes you are not. So it seemed in this case that I won't be lucky in Berlin and so I went back to Sweden and there I was very lucky. Just there was again a promising job or two in Berlin. Now it was time to think and write down what to do and how. Finally I decided for Berlin as it did look better. Turns out the job they wanted to give me is different then what they told me. http://one-thing-to-remember.blogspot.de/2015/03/up-and-down-back-again.html
I declined but then was without a job. Starting all over again.  
Now many people would feel that everything is going wrong and whatever you do, you seem to choose wrong, but I believe there is a lesson in everything and one is to believe and have patience. 
While searching again I worked at my personality. Things which I wanted I did and some things I wanted to change, I went to people who could help me. You know sometimes you need other people to look from another angle. 
I also made another interview and wrote a lot this year on my blog. http://one-thing-to-remember.blogspot.de/2015/04/jan-bo-vinter-poulsen-interview.html
That did indeed help. And I had -like it seems - the universe also working for me. A love came into my life and two people left my space. 
I still think about them, but less now and let them go there way. Though we did not parted the nicest way and a misunderstanding led them away, but sometimes you just have to let it go. People have to make their own experience and must always pay for what they do. You can't always safe or change or make it better. Sometimes you have to trust and which the best inside you for them. 
This is also a journey.
Then I discovered my own town again. Like a tourist. Strange in a way. 
Finally having my new job and getting also the experience that working as usual is never again the solution, I began a new chapter and also started to go to university again. Well, not again, the first time and will do so the next three years, next to my job. 
In the same time I missed my Sweden and therefore I flew back to meet my friends. 
When I came back again to Berlin, I realized that my love affair with Berlin is over. Also I already moved another time (the sixth in one year) and started living in an area I have never been much before. It's a nice area and quite. 
Now living with my love is something new for me, as I always lived alone at my very own place but it is nice and wonderful, thought a challenge for both of us too. 
But like in the last years I have become a traveler. 
Manchester was it in autumn and London. Something new and something old- like the saying goes. 
That was exciting, beautiful and lovely. 
Now that the year has nearly gone I have worked at my new working place a while and had a lot of challenges. A lot stress and a lot to think about. A lot to deal with and try to figure out how to do best, as I lead a team and manage the quality and also doing nursing. Quite a lot and then I have to keep in mind there is a dog home, a love and then my friends. Stay tuned to what they do and how they feel is something I try to fix as good as I can, while learning and doing everyday things which have to be done and also christmas presents will be bought and wrapped. 
To get christmas feelings is something I still wait for.... It is not really coming up..  Am to much bussy. Very much like in the last years it takes  a while. But don't worry, the spirit comes along...always. 
Yes, this year also had its dark political effects. The racism came back into open field and the hate, the gun shootings have become kind of everyday thing and the bombs inside our heart have tried to destroy our faith in democracy. The results of mistakes come to real danger now as one of the mistakes was to keep people stupid in many ways. But also we had many light hours, hours of hope and courage and people seem to awake from a coma they have been or getting away from being blind to being more the seeing eye. 
Sure next year is a leap year but also a year for decisions. Again, we face important times and the decision we will make will more then ever lead the way for the next future. 
So what future do you want?! 
Meaning, it is time to stand up and even when we fear one or two things could go wrong or go a way we don't like. But let's be true, a change never leaves you without the question what to let lose and give up. A change is only possible if you leave things behind and that means also things we are used to. Sometimes we have to free our self from things to get free and to be able to do the next step, even when we fear the future, because if we don't we come to the point where we must and then it won't be that easy, that nice, that way you like to have it. Now you still can decide and go the way, find your way easier then later. 
That is also why christmas is a god start to be grateful and think about what you have as most of us are really rich, and some are rich for the wrong reason and others believe them self poor for the wrong reason. 
Many things come a bit later then we believe or should I say expect, but they do come true if you hang on. I can tell you from my own experience. Many things come when the time is right, when you are ready and the situation is as it is needed. Therefore have patience and go on the way you want to. Keep your goal in mind and do all on the way which gives you what you need and want. A bit planing is also good and then be flexible. That way you can react and catch what you need and come along the way you desire. Make your own path. It's true, it is the only you'll become happy. Which does not need we can go together, cross our ways, but just remember, you have to walk alone on your own way. 
That means sure not to care to much what people say, but listen to them is necessary. It gives you the information you need to reflect yourself. 
Now, let me send you some love and light and which you a merry christmas. Whatever you do, wherever you are, make the best of it. I will be working most of the holidays but am happy anyway. Be happy, be grateful and try to shine and let the sun shine in your heart. Make yourself some beautiful moments, just because YOU deserve it. Do it all for you, instead for the others. Do what makes you happy. Do what you like.  If it is just to give a smile. 

LOVE & LIGHT

Donnerstag, 17. Dezember 2015

unbreakable

Before we start with the TBT, the last one before christmas and the last one before the year ends.... I may tell you about another women who had this year her try to get a comeback. Remember Madonna started and other followed. Even touring around. 
One of the big Stars of the 90tis was Janet Jackson and she brought out this year her "Unbreakable" album.  Janet Jackson who had several major hits in the USA and some big all around the world. A singer who had it not easy within the Jackson family. But she made her way and then after her best of CD it all slowed down fast. Not many hits followed after that. Last she made a break and it was not sure if she would ever do an album again. The tragedy in her family, the divorce and second marriage and becoming a muslim, the fight for money and her brothers kids and so on. 
So, after all this, expectation are quite high for something new but we would also take an album in the same way she did last time. Thought after the - Velvet Rope- she struggled to keep the same level or even make it better. 
Her albums have always been concept workings and she had mostly god producers. So this new album got the same way to be born. 
She decided to take the old style again and make an album in the same and therefore safe way and not to try something new. 
Sadly she did a very safe way and I was surprised how much many songs sound like songs I know or she seemed to cover herself, like her ballade "Again". Only this time she did not even try to power up things. I mean, Janet Jackson never had the biggest voice or a high range or difference in the notes she sang, but she always did put power in it. 
Yes, the songs as always different and not sounding the same on the same cd, but it seems that life has blown out of her. 
Even when she had not the biggest voice she tried emotion, but such emotionless singing had I seldom heard. And that from a person, who has been through so much! She should know better. 
I have nothing against taking a safe way, but this album is not only safe, it is disappointing. I know Janet means a lot in the USA and had never meant that way in Europe, but this is far to weak to listen again or to buy. At least she should have tried with a bit more energy. 
Her best songs are those she made with others- so just three songs from the album are a bit better, but even those are very low in the quality and they get boring after second hearing. No wonder she made no singles, no hits and "No sleeep" was just a small hit on the internet. 
So you better listen to her old work and enjoy what she had done. For the upcoming tour I would not hesitate to buy a ticket as if the CD is not promising, I wonder how much she can give on a tour. She used to be strong and dancing wild and much and having a big powerful show. But this time?
No -Janet, this time I am not sure if I ever want to hear from you a song on stage from the album or if you are really able to power up, when you have non on your cd. I far to much miss songs like "together again" "someone to call my lover" or "pleasure princible".
You call your CD unbreakable, but you sound not broken, nor unbroken. You sound not stronger, softer or wiser. You sound like some beginners, missing all that is needed for a good listening enjoyment.
So that comeback is not to recommend. 

Love & Light

Montag, 14. Dezember 2015

The holy family

Every christmas, many people gather together to sit on the same table no matter what. Every year we want a very warm and cosy christmas and celebrate life and the holiness of family. 
We want love, we want to enjoy the time between the years, as we say. 
Yes, the gifts are a big part, mostly for children as they really are looking forward to them. 
But as a grown up, we don't need to give away gifts we can buy ourself- most time. 
So no wonder disappointed faces are many times the results. Thought we should be grateful for each gift as it is the thought of another human for or about us. Hopefully filled with love. 
But oh so many times it ends in chaos, alcohol and heavy talking,  in having dispute and anger argument. 
Same story every year- sitting with your siblings on the same table you don't like. The bigger the family is the more it is to expect that someone will fall out and be loud and you wish you would be anywhere but home. Sadly. 
So the question is, why do we keep on going that way? Do we really need to come together for a day to celebrate and play a game we don't want? I mean that is not the idea christmas is about. 
Yes, it is about family and the holy family being Maria, Joseph and Jesus have been refugees no one wanted to let in and therefore they had to hide in a shed. The church makes it look so romantic every year, but it is not a nice picture. 
But what is true is, that it was a little family being together, happy for what they've got and cherish what they have. 
It was and is about to be grateful and not about shop till you drop. 
It is meant to be together with those who you love. If you are able to do that. But it is not meant to be stress and a force. 
Why not just having a merry little christmas as they sing.  Just some people, not the whole bunch. Just those people you want to be that very special day, to eat, to chat, to play nice games and to give each other love, hugs and gifts and to talk about everything freely. Must not be the family you are born in. Can be friends, can be your own little family, can be a mother with her two boys. 
Must not even be at home. Be on the place you wanna be. Make your own very special christmas. Make your own tradition and if your young, don't worry, try out and that way you'll  find out what you like and what you don't. There is no rule to do so and so. But remember it is about the spirit of christmas. That what Dickinson was writing about in his novel. 
So, like if you feel as the person being to much in the room, then change it next christmas and find your own way to celebrate. It is no fun and no need for that. Christmas should be beautiful, not a commercial at home. Christmas should not be a reason to get drunk and hold back because you cant talk like you want as your siblings are problematic. 
So maybe you got an Idea of what it could be, a very little and nice christmas ( or a bigger one, but just with those you love- wherever you are.)








Love & Light

Donnerstag, 10. Dezember 2015

Att gråta och att skratta

To cry and to laugh. This is what comes to mind when I read the book from Anders Paulrud - Ett ögonblicks verk-. 
And also when I think about december-time. 
The book is a drama of a childhood, a lovestory of a strong man and about a survivour and fighter in hard times, just like ours. It's about how to grow and what you make of it and how long it takes to understand things truely. It is about that your future is not only made of your past and what has happend to you. It is also what you think. 
In this book you will be remind that there are memories in life and things you forgot, but also things you'll never forget but can't call memores as they have become part of you, live inside you for good or for worse. 
This book also tells us about a time, most of us born after 1950 don't know about but we can learn from that time as just now many things are very similar to what it has been then. 
A very passionate book, a happy book, a page turner and something to bite in. A book which will make you angry and then hopeful too. It will make you look at yourself and wonder where you stand. 
Sadly as far as I know you can only read it in swedish. Could not find any sign that it came out in another language, but maybe my google is lazy. 
If you find the english version, write me and I will put it up here, so you can read the book in english or so too. It's a little but fine book and once you've started, you know you have a wonderful written experience in your hand. 

Anyway, this book made me think more about december. A month where the days get shorter the dark nights darker and longer and the days in most parts of the world colder. The depression is waveving at us and we have to be careful not to let it in. Many people get sad or stressed. But there are also happy moments when we think about christmas is coming and seeing friends and when we sing together, come together to celebrate. Many times people gather together with the family however big this family may be and we have the mix of everything there. The good and the bad. 
Then we cry of laughter, cry of sadness. We laugh because we are happy or just lucky. We talk about what we want, where we are and if this is makig us happy. Sometimes we are scared of the facts we put together, sometimes we realise that change is gonna come no matter what. Sometimes we talk about death and how we want to die and what people should do with us then. We talk about politics and how we are not happy with it. We wonder about the question of learning from mistakes. 
But we also talk about how happy we are to be alive, how long we have survived and what wonderful gifts we've got. We talk about how grateful we are to have a home, to know that we can go the way we want and make the choice we need. We will be happy to have changed sometimes or moved to another place. 
Maybe after a stressful day we are just happy to have a cup of hot chocolade in the dark afternoon under the candle light. December is not only a cold and freezing time. It can be also very romantic. Can be a reason to stay home and cuddle and watch a movie. 

Maybe then, we understand that things don't have to be perfect to feel perfect. 

Happy holidays , merry christmas and have a wonderful advent time. (be sure it is not my last post this year- so don't worry ;-)..)


LOVE & LIGHT

Dienstag, 8. Dezember 2015

Do they know it's not christmas yet?

Could not deny to make this title up as I just hear the german version of the classic -Do they know it's christmas-. A charity song and so many more came but the question remains- can this be all? What does this mean? Well, this is a question for you to discuss: I better write now about christmas markets. First this year was for me in Manchester, but home back in Berlin we also have quite a lot. To be true, around 300 all through these december days until the new year eve arrives. 
One christmas market which is still young, as they opened first time around five years ago is today the topic. You maybe know I have lived in Sweden and worked there too. It's a important part of my life and in my heart. Just one year ago I was in Gothenburg and had my life there including christmas time and markets. So what would be better to visit the Lucia Christmas market in Berlin. 
We have actually two- one is much older and comes from the Swedish church in Berlin, the other has been build up from private people. Thought I heard Ikea now has also its own christmas market. Should check out this for this year. 
Now Lucia is a very important tradition in Sweden and best to follow in churches there, thought Swedish people are not much a believer in religious, but they still pay for church... many times. But this is also another blog to dig deeper in.
Now the thing with new success is that in the first three or four years you'll have the best fun, not to many people, not to much commerce and an easy going feeling and hoping for better times. Sadly when more people come and want to enjoy the same experience it changes to successful but less comfy. Like this year when I arrived, there have been so many people that you could only move in very little steps. 
But nevertheless it is a very cosy and nice christmas market and has actually mostly scandinavian things to sell and food and drinks to enjoy and also each version of Glögg. Even Island was part of this crowed. Just keep in mind to come early or after five. 
The market is inside the Kulturbrauerei in the famous Prenzlauer Berg, near underground station Eberswalder Strasse and that makes it the little market inside the building complex which is made of very old houses and with its red color it is also very right for the market. You feel surrounded of walls who seems to protect you and you feel save. The world is kind of outside and far away. 
So if you are in Berlin- go there, have fun, eat, drink and play the games. Try the tent or let your children spring high as they can. 

LOVE & LIGHT




Freitag, 4. Dezember 2015

Living a positive life

No, this is not a blog about how to stay positive, think positive, lead positive or act positive or even talk positive instead of using negotiations. 
It's about the HI Virus. Something we still deal with. No, it's not the worst disease and also not the most dangerous one. I already wrote a several times about that. Still we see a rising in numbers of infections after all the years. Still no way to avoid it with a vaccination. But the med has become much better and people live nearly normal. Nearly as most hide the fact that they are one of those who are taking the pills or at least are under the eye of a doctor. Thought still it did not went through to many people that those are the safest contact you may have as they are controlled and most of them are very looking to not bring anyone in danger. Thought those who take the pills mostly nowadays have undetectable virus status. Means there is no safer way as this one. But yes using condoms still is something you should do with sex with strangers as to protect yourself from other diseases who are actually more easy to get and if they are not discovered after, they can cost much more damage then you believe. They can also lead to dead. But in a relationship with clear borders and truthful talking it is most safe to have sex without condoms with a positive human. 
But the backlash those peoples get nowadays from media and others is a sign, that we deal with a lot more then just a disease. It's the image of sin, of hate and weakness, of -Only the others can get it but me!- believing. It's the try to point a finger to others and call them shameful names and make them victims and outsiders no matter what. 
It's the ignorance that each can get it, that you don't see it in peoples face if they have it or not and after all it is still the sign that we do not talk when needed about it. It is because we have hard to talk to each other about sex and all the things around when it is earnest, when it is private and mostly when you are in passion. We fear the stigma, we fear being pushed away. We fear to be called names we are afraid of. We are also often afraid of being true to our self and that is because most of us do not have safe sex each time. 
Talking about HIV and AIDS in public is talking about sex, thought this disease has more then one way to come to you and sex is just one of those many possible ways, but there are no stupid mistakes. 
Most afraid are those who should know better. Nurses. Far to many still fear to much and know to less and try to ignore the theme. Far to many would not like to work with someone who is infected as they are afraid of getting it. Stupid. No logic. Yes, but it has to do with fear, wrong pictures and preconceptions who are hard to destroy and it is also the sex thing. 
It would be much easier when we take it like cancer. But no, we still make a big fuss about it. More then it should. But industry and politic makes it even harder to get away with stereotypes. They want them alive for the sake of money and pride. 
In the last year many publishing organization and helping organizations have changed the way they talk to people as they have understood that reaching them is not to get with one advert. Even less with the same for each and everyone. We have to go to the streets, to school, to conferences, to radio and clubs to reach each, as they are different, in their own way.
But it is still hard to get people who are infected to talk openly. They still need a strong back and background. They still need self confidence and must have had already some kind of career as being open pushes you in new directions and can cost you your job. 
So I'll understand that nurses don't tell but know they should but can't. But times are on the side of being open as the medicine makes it clear that you are no danger as a nurse for no one. Your treatment will protect them and you. 
Nearly 35 years now since the first contact. 
First there was the wonder what is it. Then they fought the stigma it's the gay cancer. Then they fought the time as many died so fast and medicine became a question of dead and life and money. Laws made life harder and new investigation showed other ways to get infected. Then it was to stay alive as long as you can. Then, when living longer, maybe much longer made us wonder what to do with your time. Now we have time and a chance of a longer survive, we wonder how to make people less afraid and take the situation serious as numbers of infection rises again, but we also wonder how much is politic, how many lies are still on our way and what can we do? When will it get to normal, when to something some get some not. 
When will people be able to work no matter what? 
Nearly 35 years and still fighting. Still we die. But don't we all. 
Still we fear sex and the talking about it.
Still we deny the truth that life itself is risky. 
When do we leave all that behind and let fear, fear our positive mind. 
I remember the dead. But I also live with my positive friends side by side and love them and are fearless. 
How are you doing?

Be true to yourself. Don't be a shame. It is naturally you have doubts. It is the first step to go around and learn and let lose. 
Make being positive a positive thing.
A lesson of life and dead. 
Not only at the World Aids Day on the first of December.
Each day.
Each time.


LOVE & LIGHT