Jetzt wollen sie auch noch die Kinder!

So oder ähnlich vorwurfsvoll schallt es einem gelegentlich entgegen, wenn man als Schwuler oder Lesbe sich zum eigenen Kinderwunsch oder überhaupt dem Kinderwunsch äussert.
Es sei unnatürlich, es sei unmoralisch und vor allem sind Kinder bei Schwulen doch ganz doll gefährdet, sexuell missbraucht zu werden und nur mit Müttern aufzuwachsen, da fehlt ja der Mann.
Eigentlich sollte man meinen, das ein schlechtes Bauchgefühl hier mit Logik schnell zu beseitigen sei, aber wie es oftmals mit Vorurteilen oder vermeintlichem Wissen ausschaut, bedeutet es leider oft erst einmal gar keine Meinungskorrektur.
Nicht nur haben Statistiken und Umfragen gezeigt, als auch Forschungsergebnisse, das es Kindern sehr wohl gut, gleich gut oder sogar besser bei gleichgeschlechtlichen Eltern haben und dort gut und liebevoll aufwachsen können und dies auch tun. Auch ist bekannt, das nicht die Eltern eine Herausforderung darstellen, sondern der Kindergarten oder die Schule wo andere Kinder mi dem negativem Bild von Schwulen und Lesben kommen. Da leider sowohl im Kindergarten, als auch in den Schulen die Realität gleichgeschlechtlicher Lebensweisen meist ausgespart bleiben, erleben die Kinder weder positive Aufklärung, noch das kennen lernen von einem anderem Lebensmodell überhaupt, denn auch Single-Mütter und Väter werden gerne ignoriert, erst recht andere Formen der Familienkonstellationen.
Das Kinder immer Mutter und Vater brauchen ist auch widerlegt, erst recht wenn es darum geht, das Kinder Vorbilder beider Geschlechter brauchen. Diese finden sie im Alltag, in der Schule, im Kindergarten, in der Familie, bei den Nachbarn zu genüge.
Das Schwule Kinder sexuell missbrauchen würden ist den nach wie vor geförderten Falschinformationen geschuldet, die Pädophile mit Schwulen gleichsetzt, was als Unverschämtheit und drastische Lüge anzusehen ist und endlich ausgemerzt gehört.
Wie so oft finden wir aber die Abneigungen vor allem da, wo Menschen kaum bis gar nicht mit Schwulen und Lesben konfrontiert sind. Kein unbekanntes Phänomen, denn dies ist uns beim Ausländerhass u.a. auch sehr gut bekannt oder generell bei Gesellschaften, die sich von anderen abkapseln und daher sich ein Bild geben lassen, das wenig bis gar nichts mit der Realität zu tun hat.

Ein Vorurteil aber sollte noch lange kein Argument sein, Anderen Rechte zu verwehren. Unwissen oder unklare Bilder sollten keine Begründung für Diskriminierung sein. Da dies aber oft der Fall ist, zeigt dies auch, wie viele sich lieber dumm halten, als zu informieren und sich mit der Sache auseinander zu setzten.
Einen Wunderbaren Blogeintrag habe ich zu diesem Thema unter:
http://laluneuntermregenbogen.blogspot.de/
gefunden.
Zwischen den Tagen also noch einmal Etwas zum lesen, was auch dieses Jahr in vielen Ländern die Gemüter und Gerichte bewegt hat und in Deutschland leider von der Politik lieber mit Ignoranz und einem schlechten Bauchgefühl, statt mit Kopf und Hirn, behandelt wird. Statt das Gesetzt zu vertreten, werden eigenen vermeintliche Meinungen in der Politik umgesetzt. Gerade die Bundeskanzlerin darf sich eben nicht auf ihr Bauchgefühl als Begründung berufen, sondern muss im Namen aller Bürger handeln, so wie sie ihren Eid geschworen hat. Jedoch bricht sie diesen lieber am laufendem Band, als das sie tut, was sie tun sollte. Politik, statt Machtgehabe.

Licht & Liebe

Make the yletide gay oder auch- Überraschung zum Fest- a movie

X-mass time is coming up and again we long for our films we know. But what about a new one, a funny and lovely movie about two young people, falling in love and trying to grow as the families have their own idea of the realationship of them. A story about coming home for x-mass and trying to be yourself as we all know when we are away from home, we do change but parents don't or can't see it.
This movie is charming, has speed and a very funny and good storytelling. Some drama of course and some surprises. Some words spoken you never heard before and parents who are normal, but normal. A cameo from an "Enterprise" actress will enjoy you but all above this, you will watch new members of your family as those people are just brilliant and crazy and hilarious in the same time. It shows, as it plays in the USA, typical decoration and x-mass feelings from that country and will make you sure drop a tear of joy now and then. This film is kind of a secret tip, though this film should be seen of much more people no matter where you are from and how your family looks a like. Because as I said, those characters will go straight to your heart.

Refreshing and sentimental, lovely and shiny, corny and honestly- yes you should take this little risk and watch it! :-)

As alsways..

LOVE & LIGHT

Stonwall

On the night from the 27. till the 28. June 1969 in Christopher Street started the first real protest against the oppression from the police. Violence was the answer. Enough is enough was the answer. Queer people showed that they are indeed people as everyone else. They are not only week and have wigs and are easy to harm. They can fight for the right to dance, to live, to love as it is the most natural thing in the world. Being part of society means to live free and be what you are instead of hide and feel ashamed. Being people and love another people is very natural and can never be sick. Because Love is Love, meaning- it's a chemical reaction, it's a physical attraction, it's in your gene, it's what we all can feel, if we live with an open heart and it's a spiritual reaction and practice. 
So violence was the answer cos they were not heard before. 
And today after- let's think about, after 45 years, are we on a better way?
Yes, in many ways and many countries but also no in many ways and countries. In some it even becomes worse. 
In 77 countries homosexuality is still forbidden and will get you in prison or even dead. 
77 countries where they hide, live in fear, fight in the background, fight in the dark, need to believe that they have a chance to be taken as a man of the world worth living and get no harm, no matter if an other man think this is right or not because he does not understand that it is natural because this man just believes in what he had heard and believes what he has read or not, or because he just think he can pic a sentence out of the bible and claim we have to live that way, thought he never read the hole passage and understood that the bible is not a book to pic what you like or not but more a history document to read and see an idea of living and stories to safe live and that this book was written in a time where we lived t.ex. in the desert and after all that this book is written so many years after Jesus died and is not written from one single person and the not even chronologically and it took like 300 years to write all the passages and then after all not all who were written have stayed in the book at last. 
But I am drifting away.
We have come a long way since that but after 45 years it feels not that much, because just now we realize that so much was hidden and is vulnerable. 
The open homophobia is breaking out and that's a god thing because now we actually know. 
Yes in the beginning we have been ignored. Then people laughed about us. Since Stonewall they openly fight us and this is the last phase before people learn to understand us and take us for real.
But just now they fight us harder then since a long time. They beat us, smash us and try to kill us. For what? For blindness, stupidity, and for the reason that they are unknown to the subject and lost empathy. 
Because if they had empathy they would never do this. 
So let's teach them empathy, love and difference as in the same time equality. 
Let's teach them to think with mind, body and soul.
Let's teach them to learn to do this by them self. 
But they won't listen - do you say.
Right, many don't listen when we speak up, stand up, show us.
We have to waken them- but how? More words? More demonstration in silence, dance or with kisses?
Or is violence a choice to wake them up and make them look and listen to us? As it was 1969 needed. Is is needed now? Do we need a new Stonewall to collect us, to show us and get straight to the point again and then show them how to do it the LOVE way?
Lot's of discussion are needed but at the end we have to remember where exactly we stand.
There we wil know what to do, because I think, we have to do it all together, all ways and choices.  All variations (except those who means we fight against something- this way we lose, all will lose). 
Because that is the only way to get everyone to listen, because some will only act when they see a silent parade, others when they se a documentation, others will react when we fight back with a fist or showing a kiss. Then others will react when we show mercy or when we say out and loud and proud - STOP-! or they are people who will finally listen to arguments instead of following blind a word of a priest. 
Yes the time has come that it is no longer acceptable to hate gays and lesbians, trans and bisexual. The time has arrived that we all have to fight for the right to love without fear. No matter who you are. The time is here to see the light and stop being blind. 
And yes violence will be a part of it sometimes, because sometimes it's the first step which is needed to get out of a situation. It's the right to fight back. 
So.... to all the haters and homophobes.
Forget that we are a doormat, whipping boys, victims or scapegoats for t.ex. politics who just dislike the western living style!
WE ARE PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD WORTH THE SAME AS YOU!

LOVE & LIGHT

International day of Kiss

Seems it's long, long time ago I wrote something here in my blog, but you know me, I only write if I feel it's right. Actually I had not much time and too much going on in my mind and life to write something good, but while the most now will write about soccer I think it's quite a good change to write about the actual day of kiss. Of course the day is made up by a bunch of guys while they took a beer or two and no one really knows why they made it up and what it is about.
It's sure not political reason, although a kiss is more then just a kiss, while I think it should be. 
In fact there are countries where you not kiss in open places and just remember not long ago in movies a kiss was seldom or if there was one it never where shown right or face to face. A kiss was in fact something very offensive and had the meaning of being a sexual slut. And still in some countries a kiss is more then that. It stands for a life you choose to live and I don't mean your sexual orientation. An open kiss in countries where homosexual can be harmed is a choice you make. The choice to be yourself and show who you are. Or where women have next to no rights. So they show, that they are a human who has the same rights like each of us should have. 
Then a kiss is of course different in it's interpretations. It can be friendly, show love, show kindness, be a sign of protest, be a sign of seduction, be an affront or be a candy and so on. And then a kiss is for most women more then just too lips meeting each other, while for many man kissing a stranger is nothing special. For most men it is just a kiss to heat up, sometimes just to get an erection, some times to show domination, some times just part of a conversation. But society have been teaching women since a long time that a kiss stands for love. Only love. Kissing for fun is still therefore an exception. 
Oh yes, a kiss on the neck is different to a kiss on the forehead, and different to a kiss on the hand. We kiss much in our live. Mostly of different kinds of love. Family, friends and society- all there you can find a kiss on the way. Political kiss while the cold war or the high society kiss check to check, the friendly kiss to a grandmother and the good bye kiss to a child, before it goes to school. But the latter is quite also kind of a modern thing. To kiss your child as children were long seen as little adults and never have been touched that way by parents. Oh there are still sects who forbid the first contacts with a baby after birth and also the kiss on the head or the hand to say hello my newborn. 
But as we are on children- here we have also unwelcome kisses. Kisses grown people are giving to children without the permission of them, without asking them or even the parents when it is just a hello kiss. But you know what I mean. So many children have to stand out sexual harassment. (And even adults get kisses from people against their will.)It's a awful thing, getting parts of the body kissed where an adult never should put his lips on. No matter if it's a stranger, someone from the family or the parents
But Allah's not every kiss from a a parent to a child is sexual abuse. That strange fear must gone too. How can a loving mother not give a kiss to his little child. 

The "Kiss" is usually a positive word and that's why the advertising campaigns use the kiss, or the idea of a kiss or just the image of a kissing mouth like Kylie used it for her CD. But here we see that the kiss is also a sexual thing, although it's more an erotic and sensitive thing. But the kiss is just the next step from our time we fed each other. Like animals still do with their babies. So it's kind of complex. 

But now, let's take another look on "The Kiss".
Few can kiss real good from the start. It is a thing to learn and train. The kiss you give your love. 
Oh what I've been through! Some kiss like a machine. Always the same way, always the same rhythm. 
Like a clock. Some tried to bite me, although I think that was not the idea. Some could not even move their lips. Some kiss like you have an illness and call it passion. Some opened their mouth and I was afraid to fall in. A kiss is lips to lips not a big gab, a big hole to a head. I don't want to dive into your stomach. If I wanted, I had better things to dive in. 
Saliva. Yes it's natural to have some in your mouth but be kind and don't forget to swallow it. If I want to take a bath, I take the tub. 
A tongue. Is an organ you can use, but use it gently not like a drilling machine or a hammer. And please don't start with the tongue play and please don't try to lick my face before I am getting warm in my passion for you. 
Sometimes I only get the big, big tongue and wonder how this is a kiss. Where have those people learn this? Porn? 
And yes sometimes -I confess- my kisses are called Jackhammer kisses, because my passion presses me into you. I've learned to let this go... more or lesson. But surly I don't start with a cold start kiss... 
What more? It's always good to have a fresh breath, but better brush your teeth not the minute before you'll kiss or take a bubble gum just before it, If I wanted a fresh bomb in my mouth, I do it by myself. Thanks. But I do wonder, in some movies you see the actors brushing their teeth and then the partner or lover comes into the bathroom and start kissing. I mean their not even finished and spat the toothpaste. I always think -those poor actors. Must be more disgusting then making a sex scene. But do people actually do this? 

But at least... I mean , when it is about kissing, start gently, just lips to lips and then go on. Smell each other and see each other, kiss other parts of the face, play and gently start taking the tongue, then go back to just kiss, but with a little pressing and feeling and passion and so on.... Take your time and try. Try different positions, different times of the day. Wake you man in the morning with a surprise kiss, softly, gently, but full of love and passion. Sometimes a puff of a kiss is more then all the big screen kisses you know. 
Isn't it crazy how much you can write about a kiss. Just a kiss. A thing which can give love, make people jealous, can keep peace of two countries or get you killed by the mob, can save your life and also change it. 
So can mankind survive without a kiss?
Think about it. 

Love & Light

Equality

When I think about equality, you may say that we have come far. 
But how far have we actually come?
To be true - not that far we should have reached. 
Thought we talk and write about this not just since a couple of years. We do this already quite a very long time. 
I mean let's take a closer look at it and start with, let's say Shakespeare. 
Mostly nowadays we can say we don't call our man next door our enemy. Mostly?
There may be some places where you can be sure, each and everyone is accepting one another. But there is no country in the world where we can't find someone who will takes his neighbor and call him a devil. And still we kill each other for we are not the same clan and still people fall in love with another and take a risk of getting killed or if they are lucky being just an outcast. 
So not so far with equality with our neighbors and people in town. 

Next try.... Marriage. Absolutely the same problem. We still have arranged marriage. We still have women who are not allowed to talk about who they are able to marry. We still make a difference of each other marriages. Still we say those are better then this and their have a less worth marriage. Still not everyone is allowed to marry. Still in many countries women lose practically with a marriage all her rights. Still in all countries most man and women are not having the same rights as marriage partners. It's still the man who says what is allowed and what all have to do. Still we make the thought a living that women have to stay home. 
Although in many countries partners have become more equal and both part of a marriage do the household, take the children and care for grandparents. Yes in some countries women can take the clothes they want. Women can have their own opinion. That's good. We are all the same stupid or smart. We are all capable of cherish a child and work for money. But it's a long way for equality. And longer if we think about getting divorced. There is more then less equality in how we treat people after a marriage, how we deal with a separation. No matter what country you're living. 

Another one....? Work: The salary is still a big difference in most jobs between man and women. Women get much less payed for same work. And the politic is not willing to let this change. Not because the common people don't want to. It's the industry who likes this cheap workers. So no equality at all, no matter how much we try to bring it up. A real change is only to get when women start to fight again for the right to get payed the same. As long most of them accept this situation, the industry and politic will keep it the way it is. There is actually no valid reason to stay on this point. The world and the economy will stay alive if women get payed the same.

Well, then man and women are not equal, and so women are still called the weak leak and so the disabled although they can do so much for us, even the homosexual are calling weak, wish is just too stupid, but then we also call people with other skin color weak, not worth the same- still it's a pain in the ass and so, so unbelievable that we keep on telling this to our children. 
The blindness of color should be already clear for all but still some think it's better to be religion blind and political blind and stupid blind to call other people less worth. 
The interesting fact is that the more mixed it is on a place the fewer people think so. 
But it is not only black against white. Which itself is so stupid, because no one is black and no one is white. We are all colored people or have you ever met a man who was really white? No and you will never. So the skin color is just a mix of different lighter or darker parts. 
But then again... it's not only "white" people who say black are less worth. Even dark colored people think so. They want lighter skin, lighter hair color. Even the stars want to be blond instead of taking their own hair color because it can bring more success and would get them more accept on the "white" side. Oh dear! But it's the same with gays who act more conservative and want to assimilate into the heterosexual way or a transwomen who don't accept that a women can have masculine parts. It's an disabled who tells himself he is worth less and so all the others disabled too and so he has not the same rights and must fight for each part of what? 

Can it be in this fight for equality that we are often the enemy ourself... the biggest enemy with our own thoughts? How women treat other women is often more against equality and having a free life an man would do. How once being religion and a believer is more worth then the guy from the church in the next village. How some jews think that in Israel should only live jewish people cos the rest is less worth and not clean- for example. 

Equality is still something we have to achieve. Because we are all worth the same. We are different yes, but the same worth. It starts in our mind. In the way we teach children, in the way we treat each other. In the way we look at each other and at ourself. There is no- but.... you're not less worth because of your education, although people tell you so. 

Let's start thinking about it without being blind because of fear, blind of politic or religion.

Love & Light