Are you feminist?

                                  

I never thought about that until a doctor asked me that at work.  In Sweden it is not such a strange thing that men call themselves feminist. 

And while I just thought about equality for the LGBTIQ community, it came again to my mind that this is also something we deal with on and on. 

But what is a feminist nowadays? It sure is not only a woman fighting aggressive for her rights. It’s not only fighting for being part of the congress, getting the laws changed and fighting together as black and white.

It has become more. Women fight loud but also in silence and they fight on different places. Now it’s education, family times and still family planning or also called Planned Parenthood.  They also fight for same wage as this is still unbelievable unfair and women now have understood that they have to demand men to fight with them, to understand deep inside that what they seek is right and has to make into reality.

You know it is unbelievable that we after 100 years since the women started to fight for equality have not come that far.  Why is it so hard to achieve success? Is it that we went more silent after the 80tis? Is it that young women have to discover feminist for themselves and make it their own thing? Find new ways and remember that being loud is still necessary. 

So a man fighting along side by side with a woman is a feminist?

Thought as far as I remember what I have read, most of those men still are very much living the cliché and those 50/50 thing is more a which, than reality, in everyday life and also those men pay women less than for a man.  Women are many times o.k. with this, or believe it just is that way or even more it has to be, thought they should know better.  But yes, we have still also those women who truly believe a woman has to be home, make children and her husband has to bring home the money. They believe women should not have extra rights- and this is the problem! It’s not about extra rights it’s about to get the same rights, to have the same possibilities and choices.  Sure in many ways men and women are different, but that does not mean they are weaker, or less worth, or should have less rights as they can be smart the same as men and work hard as a man and even feel. They can make decisions and those without being victims of hormones. Many forget that men have also hormones, which makes them act stupid.

And why is it still a problem to live out sexuality as women? Why is it still for men and women a problem if a woman gets a divorce, but not when the man does? That’s bigotry and lying to yourself about what and who we are. 

But back to men who are called feminist. They are no less man of course, thought many would like to call them so. They fight for women rights; sometimes they just call it a fight for equality. And without men the revolution will not succeed in the end. We always need both sides.  And also those men who just fight and are into equality. Like myself, a man who does not call themselves a feminist.

But let’s be true, we do to less and women also stand in their own way. We have to try harder but how can we make others understand that the time is now, not tomorrow as it can be too late then or even harder to achieve things. As this is a question of power, of money and who will lead the world. It is a question of peace and war and where we put each other. It is a question of respect and empathy.  Things the new generation of feminist have to understand and some already work that way. The older generation is looking back and into the future and will hope that we go on fighting as they see how hard it still is, how unequal we act and how hard some groups fight to get women back into the dark age again. So we have to talk, to teach and be visible.

May you call yourself a feminist or not, but start discussing what went wrong, to know our history and what should we do and how can we prepare our children to not do the same mistakes or act the same unequal way. Yes, it starts with how we teach them, how uncles, mothers and grandparents act and all those other folks. Only together we will make it better as it is not enough when just parents make it right. 

Let's think about it with Love & Light

thinking about a world

Thinking about a year with a lot of chaos inside
People still die and people still cry
Thinking about a lot of demonstration for the right...
the right to love who you love
the right to be the same as you 
no matter if you're black or white
thinking about a year gone by
so loud it could be heard outside the planet earth
so quite it hurts that no soul is screaming,
screaming stop!
scream that this here is wrong, so wrong
this war is going on for much to long
this lie is told for much to often
your words still try to soften
but the truth must be told
if a change will lose it's -should-
I think about a year and all the people
people who run to the loudest voice
no matter if this voice is right and telling lies
no matter if that place they run to is to cry
people who are so afraid
people who are so blind and forgot what mama said
people who forgot to listen to their inner soul
people who are lost and had never to decide
decide in the last time but now they must
even know they won't, they don't like, cos they don't know
or if they can stand their own truth and see their own lies
so- people who learned to be blind must waken sometimes
people who are afraid it will hurt will know- yes it will hurt
no matter how hard you try to hide
it will always hurt inside
no matter how long you wait
you have to pay
I think of a world in chaos- but it was once worse
I think of a world in change- and I wonder where are we going
I think of a world where many still have not understand
if you want to have a chance, you must take a stand
you must see that old ways are never the future
you must see that new ways must be found
because this is the only chance for a bright future
otherwise things will rebound
if we stand together, love each other and teach one another
and after all find together new ways
find together new days, 
find together in our heart- that standing apart will make us losen the game
losen our faith, losen our love, losen the change
 
So
I think of a world who has to waken
I think of a world with people who are waken already
I think of a world with people deep sleeping
I think of a world changing
I think of a world coming out of the dark and it is getting loud
it is getting hard
it is getting big and  large
but it is getting better
I think of a future in peace, even know it may always be a dream
I think of a year gone by and all the trouble we have had inside
I think of the fact that this is all very natural, but has to be taken honest
taken honest now, cos being a coward is the losers choice
so listen to your inner voice
instead of running to the nearest  and loudest noise
go into the light
take the way of love
take your time cos otherwise you'll be blinded and hurt
take it slow but go step by step
then you can teach the children of the war, those warrios of the blind
where the sun lies and the hope is to find
where the love lies and the laughter cries
where the future is bright
 

LOVE & LIGHT

The Signature of all things- a book

After all the DVDs, maybe you want to buy a book for x-mas or for a birthday? Then I can recommend my new discovery!

Elisabeth Gilbert surely known as the writer of  -Eat, Pray, Love-  has given out a new book and it's a big one. It's different to the last one but also keeps the track on the growing theme. It's a book about a women who has the luck to be a kid of a rich father and therefore be able to discover many things by herself as this plays in a time where women had less then zero education. 

It's a story of a family and a women growing in and out of it and how she discover that there is more then being a smart mind. 

As with eat, pray, love- Elisabeth is able to express with a rich language and a lot of understandable pictures her story and the journey you follow with it. 

This book is in no way a women(s) book as it contains adventure, the jungle, a rising Philadelphia and the old Europe and science from that time. 

It's not a love story book, but a book about reconnecting mind, body and soul with the help of nature and other people. 

I sure had not a single boring minute reading it and it was not a bit to much or uncomfortable to read, thought with next to 600 pages, it took its time. 

Just the much alive picture you get from our past and history is so much fun to read. 

I just hope that this book will be better translated into other languages then - eat, pray, love-  as those bad translations killed the book. Especially the german translation was catastrophic. 

You see it was and is a New York Times Bestseller, but that does not mean a book is good. 

Here I can say it is. Refreshing use of language- not too complicated, not too simple- and a story who surprise you and while reading you wonder what's next as this book has so many pages. The book is also written in a way so you can understand the upcoming things. Which I really liked as it also did ad a lot of color to the book and you are able to learn some more things in the same time. Yes, you can discover a new world that way and relate to it. 

And after all it is a book of hope, which in the end will tell you it is never to late to change or just be better then you are now. A book for long travels or holidays? Absolute, as you travel in time and space with this book. 

Also I think this book is most needed in our time- as it is about education for all and about education of mind and soul! And it is about equality. It is not that long ago that we started to fight for just those things. Just now we have a backlash and so this reminder is very much appreciate. 

Have fun reading it self or give it to someone who'll will have the luck to enjoy these letters.

Love & Light

Equality

When I think about equality, you may say that we have come far. 
But how far have we actually come?
To be true - not that far we should have reached. 
Thought we talk and write about this not just since a couple of years. We do this already quite a very long time. 
I mean let's take a closer look at it and start with, let's say Shakespeare. 
Mostly nowadays we can say we don't call our man next door our enemy. Mostly?
There may be some places where you can be sure, each and everyone is accepting one another. But there is no country in the world where we can't find someone who will takes his neighbor and call him a devil. And still we kill each other for we are not the same clan and still people fall in love with another and take a risk of getting killed or if they are lucky being just an outcast. 
So not so far with equality with our neighbors and people in town. 

Next try.... Marriage. Absolutely the same problem. We still have arranged marriage. We still have women who are not allowed to talk about who they are able to marry. We still make a difference of each other marriages. Still we say those are better then this and their have a less worth marriage. Still not everyone is allowed to marry. Still in many countries women lose practically with a marriage all her rights. Still in all countries most man and women are not having the same rights as marriage partners. It's still the man who says what is allowed and what all have to do. Still we make the thought a living that women have to stay home. 
Although in many countries partners have become more equal and both part of a marriage do the household, take the children and care for grandparents. Yes in some countries women can take the clothes they want. Women can have their own opinion. That's good. We are all the same stupid or smart. We are all capable of cherish a child and work for money. But it's a long way for equality. And longer if we think about getting divorced. There is more then less equality in how we treat people after a marriage, how we deal with a separation. No matter what country you're living. 

Another one....? Work: The salary is still a big difference in most jobs between man and women. Women get much less payed for same work. And the politic is not willing to let this change. Not because the common people don't want to. It's the industry who likes this cheap workers. So no equality at all, no matter how much we try to bring it up. A real change is only to get when women start to fight again for the right to get payed the same. As long most of them accept this situation, the industry and politic will keep it the way it is. There is actually no valid reason to stay on this point. The world and the economy will stay alive if women get payed the same.

Well, then man and women are not equal, and so women are still called the weak leak and so the disabled although they can do so much for us, even the homosexual are calling weak, wish is just too stupid, but then we also call people with other skin color weak, not worth the same- still it's a pain in the ass and so, so unbelievable that we keep on telling this to our children. 
The blindness of color should be already clear for all but still some think it's better to be religion blind and political blind and stupid blind to call other people less worth. 
The interesting fact is that the more mixed it is on a place the fewer people think so. 
But it is not only black against white. Which itself is so stupid, because no one is black and no one is white. We are all colored people or have you ever met a man who was really white? No and you will never. So the skin color is just a mix of different lighter or darker parts. 
But then again... it's not only "white" people who say black are less worth. Even dark colored people think so. They want lighter skin, lighter hair color. Even the stars want to be blond instead of taking their own hair color because it can bring more success and would get them more accept on the "white" side. Oh dear! But it's the same with gays who act more conservative and want to assimilate into the heterosexual way or a transwomen who don't accept that a women can have masculine parts. It's an disabled who tells himself he is worth less and so all the others disabled too and so he has not the same rights and must fight for each part of what? 

Can it be in this fight for equality that we are often the enemy ourself... the biggest enemy with our own thoughts? How women treat other women is often more against equality and having a free life an man would do. How once being religion and a believer is more worth then the guy from the church in the next village. How some jews think that in Israel should only live jewish people cos the rest is less worth and not clean- for example. 

Equality is still something we have to achieve. Because we are all worth the same. We are different yes, but the same worth. It starts in our mind. In the way we teach children, in the way we treat each other. In the way we look at each other and at ourself. There is no- but.... you're not less worth because of your education, although people tell you so. 

Let's start thinking about it without being blind because of fear, blind of politic or religion.

Love & Light

Facebook

Are you on Facebook? Maybe daily? Are you only there to play and chatt from time to time?
Or are you actually active doing some blogging? 
Is it gossip or is it how you feel? Or are you also into political discussion?
If you had some discussion you maybe had the experience that it sometimes seems to go wrong.
How come? 
People seem to react not only spontanious, they seem to react short, sometimes rough and sometimes silly. Do they take to less time for the thought to write down?
Sometimes it's fun reading the answeres, but often you feel an missunderstanding beetween the writers and those who did put up a blog, a meaning, a sentence.
Not only the spelling is wrong in many answeres, even the way they seem to talk to you. 
I mean sometimes respect is missing but sometimes it is like each don't get what the other person wants to tell. So people get angry, instead of taking time to breath and think about what they just read and what they wrote. Sometimes it only takes a minute to explain in other words. Why is it so hard? 
Then we have those who like to commend on others and they do it with sexual meaning, being bit rough and funny or telling their own thoughts, but if someone does this - the same to themself, they freak out, get angry, block, defriend and have hard to take critics from others.
Can't we act different.. I think we can and should.
An example: I by myself did blogged two or three times a thing, another reader and follower answered to. They wrote that I was wrong or some of the facts I wrote are wrong. So I looked after and controlled and saw they were right. I correct the post or in an another time, I canceled the whole thing, because it was too wrong. Then another time I explained my opinion and let the others stand by as it is a free world to believe what you want. ( As long no one gets harm, beaten or killed for an opinion..)
I also don't go into disscussion about to earnest things, not because I would not stand them, it's because Facebook is the wrong place for it. 
Why? Having an opinion in the WWW is an anonymous thing and so we suggest it is easy and we never get touched by the meaning of others but as it is Facebook is a side where everyone can read your opinion and as we used to like to stand in a shining light, we don't like critics and react more sensitive then we should and would if we talked at a table. Yes, actually many take the opinions of others very personal which is to be true stupid but the way it mostly is. Sadly most of them never realised this fact.
Well I did defriend too, but it was when we had nothing to talk about, when there was to much of the "me" "me" "me" thing or when their opinion was so strong against mine and even trying to discuss with them was unable because they never listened. 
I believe we have to be stronger then just to unlike someone, cancel the friendship or block them, just because they have a different opinion or write in the same way we do. I think you have to stand, what you do by yourself. Sadly many just talk but never do the walk. But most sadly it is, when I read afterwards a line which is not really true to the facts what had happen. To many then play the big victim role and folks this is nearly never the case. So when I see this happening at friends I think sad about them and wonder- how to talk to them about this? 
I like them, love them and have realised that Facebook shows our true self more then we are mostly aware of. That's why I don't post everything. I think mostly first before I send out a message. 
Censuring myself or is it protection? I call it protection and a very pragmatic way of dealing with the Internet.
 
But the question remains. Why are so many acting this way? Have we forgotten how to talk to each other? Has the Internet changed us to less empathic people? Or have many never learned this? Shouldn't they teach these things at school?
Better start at home I say. Start reflecting yourself and the way you react. Watch yourself talking and if you have many time the feeling of things on Facebook are going wrong then look deeper inside you, because it's you who attract those reactions. 
Are you suggesting people are mean, bad and never want you do good? Are you thinking no one loves you truly and you are the sadest person in the universe? Are you expecting to fast the baddest in an answere from another man, because this seems to be often the case when I read on Facebook. And on the other side are you trying much to get candy and "likes" from others? Are you trying to get compliments often?
Well then here we are- those are negative vibrations and so does it come, that we hear the talk of the law of attraction---> your wish is my command. 
 
So before you defriend and block, read again, breath, actually -LISTEN- think the best of the other person and then react. Sometimes you just said it all wrong, but meant it a different way. Sometimes you just post something without your own commend but be aware- people take this as your opinion, as everything you post is on Facebook an opinion! 
If there is someone who tells you that your post kills itself because of wrong facts, then understand this: it's not to harm you, it's not to make you personal ill, it's not the meaning your opinion is wrong, it is just the saying that you did post something which contains some failure in it. 
Then the best way to react would be to say... thanks I look it up.. oh your right- but I just want to show with this and that.. maybe I should have better wrote this first, but thanks anyway.. or you deside it's better to take the post away... 
Because stand for what you post!  No matter what- people will take you for this! 
Not because they want you bad. It is just they assume you mean it that way, because you posted it.
And if you do not want a discussion´- so tell it, cut it off.... no one will treat you for that. No one can, even though some will try, but is this your Problem? No!
 
So here starts the world peace. In our mind and acting...
 
As always..
 
LOVE & LIGHT

I'm so over black...

I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired of explaining why... all people who love like me should be treated equally.
Lesbians, Gays and Transsexual should deserve the same respect and they all - and also their families- need the same protecting from the country and it's law. And Children are as a part for us as for all the others too. 
We are allowed to work as doctors, nurses- save live, we are allowed to drive a car, a train, a tram and underground, also we are allowed to be your therapist and social workers and when you are dying we can be on your side to hold your hands...We make you proud for being a god and successful sportsman and bring home the medals. We can conduct research in the universities. You ask us when you need a teacher, a soldier, a cock or a bartender, a dancer, an architect or when you in need of an judge. 
We are all someones child, brother and sister, someones aunt or uncle, cousin or neighbor, friend or colleague. We've been called when you have trouble, are lovesick or need help with money. We are a very pleased guest to help renovating your home and building up your furnitures. And if you need a babysitter we come and let you party too...we also are career role models for you and others and then we also cherish our parents, grandparents as it is absolutely normal for all of us. 
In all those things our sexuality does not matter. You call us god, competent, love able, social, empathic, trustworthy. You see us, just as chaotic or structured as anybody else. As funny or earnest, stuffy and freethinking as someone else. Like a normal, lovely, obnoxious man with individual gifts and talents who is be needed. 
So this all is very normal... of course... nothing special but when it comes to marry and having own children, we suddenly turn into monsters..(?) Why?
Why is the love from a queer or transgender not worth the same? Why does it suddenly makes a difference? Is it we should be grateful for the confidence placed tolerance, like I once read? Isn't the real enemy of the marriage those who divorce, like I once read? I mean.. why should the homosexual undermine marriage? No - this is stupid and we in first sight are not begging for the equality in your churches. We just think it's time to wake up and be aware, that we naturally have the same rights in front of the law- so that should be given... I mean there are absolutely no important differences, that we should not be allowed to marry.. in fact I think, that to marry should be without the question of your sex. 
And by the way, all studies shows that children with gay parent aren't more gay later or suffer from having two mommies or daddies at home, like the most children have no bigger problems with having just a mom or a dad home, or their uncle is a parent for them...It's not what you have home, it's do you get love, understanding and help at home... the most suffer because people outside make them think they are not real, not god, not worth the same.. because of all those stupid prejudices. Like black children still suffer from those... and not because the parents are black.  All we love our children and have the same which and it is no more egoist from a queer to which a child then it is from a heterosexual. 
We all want the best for them. We all try to make it a better future for them and give them everything we have to make them feel god. 
Once again, children of queer do not become more often gay or lesbian then children who grow up on a grandmother, a father and a mother, or when their just with a mother or, ..or, or...

So do we really have to justify that we are the same happy, the same excited, unsure and proud like all other parents and that our child would get all of our love and support????

The truth is and was always.. we are family too... like you!
We already exist... and the way a family is today in so many parts of the world is so different, so untypical the "father, mother, child stereotype..." So how can anyone say the only real family for a child is this stereotype???!!!!
In each of these crazy and mixed families they cry, laugh, learn, teach, hold each others arms...sew, tinker and by presents... And I think of all those happy children ...but not where they come from... 
Like I once read.. it would be nice if one day this would be of no matter, because we are not alike, but equal. 

LOVE & LIGHT

A Song I wrote... inspired by my last post

DEAR POPE

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but you say I shouldn't

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but you say I come into hell

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but you say you know the right way

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but how dare you to say

my love is a wrong way

...

you are true with what you say

you are the only one who knows best...

oh how dare you to tell me about what's right from wrong

how dare you to tell me I should only sing your song

what makes it better to live your way when all you say seems to be a lie...

what do you know about the end of time...

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but you say I shouldn't

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but you say I come into hell

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but you say you know the right way

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but how dare you to say

my love is a wrong way

when we have found out long ago

Love's the only way... all you need... to show

when we have nothing more to say

then just livin' a lovin' way and just to follow

the sunlight, the kiss of a sunshine

so tell me how can you say... how do you dare

how can you call me evil, if you're not even far from

...from being evil self- no you're livin' on a shell

to blind to see and unwilling to hear.. you are

to blind to realize that you act like the one you say you're against...

to blind to realize that you should live with body, soul and mind

to blind to live that lovin' life to see you're just a human child

so how dare you

how dare you to tell me

if you're not livin' as the words you speak...

mmh...

mmmmh...

that's why I want to to kiss, to show my love and ask you

why are you tellin' me you speak for us...?

mmmmm.....mmmmmmh...

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but you say I shouldn't (shut up)

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but you say I come into hell (no way)

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but you say you know the right way (how can you)

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

but how dare you to say

my love is the wrong way (just listen..one time..)

stop talkin'

stop talkin'

to me unless we see, you really live the way you preach...

till then...

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

...my guy

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

...my child

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

...my life

Kiss kiss I want to kiss

...my brothers and sisters

...my kind

but how dare you to say

my love is a wrong way (so just listen..this time...)

-----------------------

TOM/ Berlin, Sept.2011