Terror of a mobile...

To be true it's the terror of many... owners and their very own mobile... or better the newest one...

Well I like to have my own too, it's a very nice little thing you can call and write with and make some pictures...it's absolute something I think which can make your live easier but then... It's everywhere.. seems everyone has one... also the children... why do have 5 year old children a mobile?

 My nephew, when he was not even two years old, he knew how to scroll, how to touch, how to put a mobile on and off, how to find the pics and how to make pics with an iphone. 

And then everywhere I am, no matter is it in a tram, on the street, in an restaurant, in the cinema, in the closet, waiting room... just name it... there is someone with a mobile, talkin' or playin'...

Even at work the stuff is using these things. And I wonder, can't we really, can't we live without them anymore???? Seems like these things became a part of our body and we wonder how and when the computer will tell us how to live? I mean we are so afraid of computers being out of control, having there own "mind" and thinking, that they learn.... and then we could be victims of them... Well, we already are... the computers already learn and think, it's just a simple way they do, but they already do and no one is afraid and even aware of that.. seems like that... 

I mean why in gods name do we have to write an SMS in our workin' time? Why do we write them when we talk to each other, no matter if it's part of the work or in an restaurant? Why is this thing more important then the work you do or the people on the other side of the table? Why can't so many leave their very own mobile home the time they work? Mankind had always survived without these, so why do you thing you could not anymore????

And then, why must it always be the news model? I mean look at the pic down, millions of old cell phones are landing somewhere. We have more of them already as garbage as people living on earth.

Seems the industry has made us very stupid just to follow them and do what they say.... oh we're such slaves... must be bit stupid... blind and lazy... 

Oh I am sure you have a lot of reasons why you have to do what they say and act like a fool. You really have enough to defend yourself but let's be honest... and true... no one needs them... simple -and all the things you can do with them.. well the most you don't need and oh those apps... do we really need them... ? Most of them absolutely not! I mean... why must everyone know where you are? Why do you need a weather app? 

Test have shown, that the most are not even sure to keep you save when you walk around... you know, all the numbers you have inside them, all the massages you have not delated, all the secret codes you use... most apps don't protect them sufficient. 

Well, these are just some though I have,, especially when I drive to work or when I see some of my stuff... or when I am on FB... 

I for myself have not the news model and mostly my mobile stays home. I only have it with me, when I wanna meet someone after work. Well my live is functional and I never really miss my mobile the most time and instead of playing on it and waste energy I read. 

LOVE & LIGHT

Diane Arbus

Just now there is an exhibition in Berlin in the Martin Gropius Building...
They Show pictures of the very great talented women Diane Arbus. 
It's an exhibition I can warmly recommend. 
Most of them are portraits, but the she shows a lot more too, like pics of poor people, children with down syndrome, or she shows rich people and a lot of outsiders from the 60's and 70's...  Just as people and politic was and still is and the shadows she brings into light. She shows beauty, where you never thought it could be. You can watch old ladies smoking and talking and they show so much power... She shows that even Disneyland can be beauty without being kitsch.  But above all this she shows that there is humor, where you never expected it to be and that naked people can look natural and beauty without being a model. I must confess that she has a lot of very god pics and rare is it that I enjoyed an exhibition of just black and white photos so much. 
If you are able to visit the Martin Gropius Building in Berlin, do it now.. till the 24. September is time to enjoy this wonderful exhibition.

Diane Arbus
A widow in a bedroom, N.Y.C., 1963
silver gelatin print, 20 x 16 inches,

LOVE & LIGHT

I'm so over black...

I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired of explaining why... all people who love like me should be treated equally.
Lesbians, Gays and Transsexual should deserve the same respect and they all - and also their families- need the same protecting from the country and it's law. And Children are as a part for us as for all the others too. 
We are allowed to work as doctors, nurses- save live, we are allowed to drive a car, a train, a tram and underground, also we are allowed to be your therapist and social workers and when you are dying we can be on your side to hold your hands...We make you proud for being a god and successful sportsman and bring home the medals. We can conduct research in the universities. You ask us when you need a teacher, a soldier, a cock or a bartender, a dancer, an architect or when you in need of an judge. 
We are all someones child, brother and sister, someones aunt or uncle, cousin or neighbor, friend or colleague. We've been called when you have trouble, are lovesick or need help with money. We are a very pleased guest to help renovating your home and building up your furnitures. And if you need a babysitter we come and let you party too...we also are career role models for you and others and then we also cherish our parents, grandparents as it is absolutely normal for all of us. 
In all those things our sexuality does not matter. You call us god, competent, love able, social, empathic, trustworthy. You see us, just as chaotic or structured as anybody else. As funny or earnest, stuffy and freethinking as someone else. Like a normal, lovely, obnoxious man with individual gifts and talents who is be needed. 
So this all is very normal... of course... nothing special but when it comes to marry and having own children, we suddenly turn into monsters..(?) Why?
Why is the love from a queer or transgender not worth the same? Why does it suddenly makes a difference? Is it we should be grateful for the confidence placed tolerance, like I once read? Isn't the real enemy of the marriage those who divorce, like I once read? I mean.. why should the homosexual undermine marriage? No - this is stupid and we in first sight are not begging for the equality in your churches. We just think it's time to wake up and be aware, that we naturally have the same rights in front of the law- so that should be given... I mean there are absolutely no important differences, that we should not be allowed to marry.. in fact I think, that to marry should be without the question of your sex. 
And by the way, all studies shows that children with gay parent aren't more gay later or suffer from having two mommies or daddies at home, like the most children have no bigger problems with having just a mom or a dad home, or their uncle is a parent for them...It's not what you have home, it's do you get love, understanding and help at home... the most suffer because people outside make them think they are not real, not god, not worth the same.. because of all those stupid prejudices. Like black children still suffer from those... and not because the parents are black.  All we love our children and have the same which and it is no more egoist from a queer to which a child then it is from a heterosexual. 
We all want the best for them. We all try to make it a better future for them and give them everything we have to make them feel god. 
Once again, children of queer do not become more often gay or lesbian then children who grow up on a grandmother, a father and a mother, or when their just with a mother or, ..or, or...

So do we really have to justify that we are the same happy, the same excited, unsure and proud like all other parents and that our child would get all of our love and support????

The truth is and was always.. we are family too... like you!
We already exist... and the way a family is today in so many parts of the world is so different, so untypical the "father, mother, child stereotype..." So how can anyone say the only real family for a child is this stereotype???!!!!
In each of these crazy and mixed families they cry, laugh, learn, teach, hold each others arms...sew, tinker and by presents... And I think of all those happy children ...but not where they come from... 
Like I once read.. it would be nice if one day this would be of no matter, because we are not alike, but equal. 

LOVE & LIGHT

Der Stand der Dinge

..und heute 
mal wieder 
eine 
Buchempfehlung..
Originaltitel ist "Tingenes Tilstand" 
von Odd Klippenvåg, aus Norwegen.
Deutscher Titel- Der Stand der Dinge-

Was macht dieses kleine, gerade mal 180 Seiten dicke Buch so empfehlenswert?
Es ist die Geschichte eines Paares, aus der Sicht des älteren erzählt. Eine Geschichte, die im Hier und Jetzt spielt, aber auch in Rückblenden und die zeigt, wie diese Beiden zusammenkommen und die Frage aufwirft, ob sie nach so langer Zeit noch zusammen bleiben, denn der erzählende Protagonist erlebt einen Schlaganfall. Das besondere hieran ist, dass das Buch den Werdegang zu diesem Ereignis wunderbar wiedergibt und dem Leser ein Gefühl dafür vermittelt, was das für die Betroffenen bedeutet, als auch für ihr weiteres Erleben und Leben. Zeitgleich ist dieses Buch auch eine Schilderung der Jahre von ca. um 1950 bis heute... so wie sie in Norwegen war und wohl auch ist. Man liest mit Neugier, Freude, aber auch Wehmut und dabei hat man nie das Gefühl das es Kitschig ist. Das Buch ist mit leichter Hand geschrieben und hat einen angenehm ruhigen Rhythmus, verwendet nicht zuviel der Worte, dabei ist es jedoch immer unterhaltsam und bildlich. 
Ein Buch, was das Leben respektiert und versöhnliche Sichtweisen hergibt, weshalb es sich wunderbar als Reiselektüre oder für den sonnigen Nachmittag, wie Abend eignet.


LOVE & LIGHT

The Secret

Did you saw the movie "The Secret"? The one where a woman told you about how she found out what the secret in live is? Well there are some.. and it's better to watch the film more then once and really think about what you saw and heard and the same with the book with same name... Do it more then once to read it... But also this is to be with things like this.. 
I mean meditation, reading Laotse, or words of Buddha or a sanskrit shant... all these things gives you the chance to stop... and think...  and change yourself, but the thing with those thing is.. 
It's nice to stop for a moment and think about it and see where you stand actually and then do some moves. 
Oh it's absolutely nice to be aware of your habits but this makes you no better. Neither if you really change your habits in one way or more. Well, to be true for most of us it's just like make a break like a holiday and then... we go back to all the old ways we went before. 
Most of us do so easy and so quickly and even more of us don't ever get aware of this... not in the first time... 
We feel it coming back and one day, when we're in big trouble again, we remember....Ooh...oh.. yes... Mhh and feel bad. 
That for sure is the most stupid thing we can do, but we have got to learn this. 
Yes, a very long time in our live we learnt to react like this. 
So again, are you aware of your negative habits? Are they negative? Are they? Or are those habits just pictures you learn, way of reactions you learn... I mean look around... to be a free man is a challenge...! Why.. are you free? Really? Mostly we're not, even many of us think we are.. How come..?
Once more and again... look around you... what you see?
Cars...
Nice cloths..
Latest News..
Something you must by...
Eat, drink and try..
Oh Cinemas... Music... Shows... You are getting entertaining all the time.. even your bank is entertaining you... 
And all are using the words "free, freedom, peace, love and god, make a holiday, you are worth it, you are beauty, you can do it, you need it to be better...and so on, more and more positive words"... to poison you..
Why is that?
Isn't it clear?
To keep your mind away from the real thing..
What's the real thing..?
You!
You?
How?... Don't understand it?... 
O.K... then again... remember..
You need nothing - none of those things, even those entertaining you is out of sense... !
But all those entertaining you makes it hard for you to change your habits.. Because you see the surface and only this you should- if it's about them, who do entertain you... Because behind the surface there is a not so nice truth.. The price we pay for living the surface... It's a big price and you have learnt to be ashamed of it, so they make it easy for you to look away... 
You know it's no god somehow, but you do.. and getting afraid of feeling more of your shame next time...is also something they thought you. Yes...! Fair is everything for them to keep you little. 
Because there is nothing to be ashamed of but you will forgive and all the victims will forgive you at the end. Cos you did not know better to be. But you have a chance..always... always... Now and tomorrow...
Time is not the question... It's always the right time.. Well, the price is another question... Will it be a hard one..? Doesn't mean to be.. can be.. I can't tell you your way... But trust me.. starting it is the most important thing... and no- I don't tell you to change from one to a 1000%... 
Just start, do as you can, get aware, change step by step and as much you can... 
Start wherever you want.. Keep an eye on your mind, what are you thinking.. once in a while.. and with time you will do it more often and then there will be a time you just do... The same with what you eat.. start with what you by and what is really god for you, what is made in peace and without harm, and so on.... just go on... on and on and on... till you just do... the same with meditation... just do... no matter how god you are, the masters have had the same start as you... now... 
That's what I am trying to do... and since I know that it's o.k. not to meditate every day, not to do my sport every day, since I know, everything has it's own time.. I more and more stop to be in a hurry...  That really makes me feel better... and more and more I see why I should stop old habits, why they are not god or better... why I want to change- because the price I have to pay... well I will not pay every price, I don't have to... why should I..? But so I start changing little things... learn.. forget, remember, learn again, see it more clear and then try it again... No matter what theme it is... pic one and start... 

Mood, your feelings will show you the trace.... If they are not god, your on the wrong trace... simple... If you feel sad, bad or something negative then just ask yourself what is the reason and then change it... What are the patterns who brings you where you don't want to be..? 
My pattern, my old pattern don't leave me that easy... likely to most of us.. we have loved them too much, cherish them and feed them... but have patience... you get rid of them, just be aware when you are on the old trace.... stop for a moment and say "Goodbye"... oh this sounds silly... foolish... YES... it does, you're right, but then.. again... remember... think, think, think... see and see with your heart... You know the answer already.. You always knew.. the answer lies in us... 
That's the way to make the world a better place

LOVE & LIGHT

You I Love

You I love.... Who.... my man, my child, my live.. MY live?
I have a friend in Sweden, he and his mate are trying to get a child... it's more complicated as we all thought it would be.... years of waiting, years of fighting, years of trying... and lying from other people... Well, still gays don't have it easy to get what they want and have a right to... 
'cos if it's love it can't be wrong... or are we all wrong and love is just a thing in our mind? No?!
Well then- let's go on....
They are married and together for a while. Part of a generation of gays who is capable of thinking of having a child. They would not be the first queer parents in the world. But outside in the world you sometimes have the feeling as you where the first one to try and bring the idea of having your own family with a child. And yes, some gay think we should not have a child- I always wonder why, cos what they say is never a reason for me to not be a father.
Some say it's egoistic to want some, but isn't it always with that? Or do we just say that because they are gay? 
Over the years it should be clear for everyone, that queer parents are no less better for a child then heterosexual one or a single father or mother, or a grandmother or grandfather, nor an uncle or aunt.
It's all about love.
So why are we still fighting this shit.... ? A question I once read, not long ago.. and yes I ask you that...! How in the world can we not go on...?
Well, my friends learns a lot about things he never imagine he would learn or have to..., not to speak about what he has to do to make a dream come true...
This makes me wonder what if I have the chance? I was always thinking about adopting a child. But if this is so hard to make real and you have to do surrogacy... This is in no way an easier way... no no...
Well for a lesbian it seems easier and people seem to take it not so hard that two woman are with a child, but man? Gay man? Who is the mother- a stupid question by the way... Can they show how to be a man? Next stupid question... of course they can...!
Well, I never thought having a child as a single parents, but nowadays I have those possibility too in my mind. I am single so this is something to think about too, and of course, I don't want to be an old dad... And we all know how times can fly.. 

The law in the my country allows me to adopt as a single, but the truth is, it surly will never happen as long as you are not rich. But then, what if one of us- if I have found my partner for life- what if he is HIV pos.? Do we have a chance at all to get a child or two? 
What if both of us are? I mean we know with the medicine we have today, people in the western world can get old, maybe very old. But above this... my live has never been all the same... lots of changing.. lots of jobs... moving in and out, living here and there... what will they think about that? Whatever I say, however positive I can make it in their eyes.. will they believe I am the right and my man will it be too? Or will we need surrogacy, no matter how many children out their would be happy to have a parent... and I mean Germany has a lot homeless and parentless children too. But as it seems this times, it went harder to get a "Yes". Are they really acting in the name of a child? Does not seem so, when You look nearer... Money is one of the reason the keep children instead of finding a home for them... 
So...
Do I need to spend my sperm and a lot of money to just get a child? Or do I better say no to all and have nothing at all?
What it makes worse is that surrogacy is not allowed in Germany... So- if you make a child outside the country it can easy be that you are not allowed to bring it into the country... cos it is a member of the country where it is born... things got complicated...? 
Why is mankind so stupid?
But there is always hope... the world is going to be more and more open for the fact, that queer people are god as all the others as parents... and I hope, this time we will make it a breakthrough... at the end.. if not, it's not the end, cos in the end, everything is beautiful and free and happy and parents are parents, no matter what they are, gay, bi, trans, lesbian, single, grandmother, sister, brother, aunt or uncle... 

LOVE & LIGHT

Little Lucy

Once again ... I was in Sweden at my friends. Same summer but different country. Same air, but different people... Just three days off from work. Time to meet friends and my second family. Time to think about this and that, while shopping and walking around in town. 
Like always I like to come by plane and it was lovely again and yes it did not took much time. Just the waiting for my friend to pic me up. But that is family stuff. 
It never takes a long time to completely feel home, cos it's already kind of home there in Gothenburg. 
Away from going to party as soon as I could I was thinkin'. 
Thinking a lot- I had some time over..;-)

Why is it for so many people so hard to leave their fear? So many try to hold on to what is not god, while they could have it more easy? Always the same thing on work, while you ask them they not really saying what they think and prefer to stay at same place, when in the same time they which a change. Well we see this a lot outside the work to. So many are talink' about there must be a change but actually less start the change... Starting with what they buy, eat and talk... 

Also a lot needs a break, but I actually ask myself what does it help to have a break, when you go on with the same destructive routine after?

You try to get back to a powerful body mind and soul and then in everyday life you throw it all away. What's the matter with us not trying to get everyday a break or make our everyday routine better, easier, so we can keep our energy, our power, our lust, our laugh... ??? The luck of live is only to be able to live up when you are able to take it to you.... everyday, everywhere and anytime. No one can give it to you.... We know that but why are we waiting... waiting for someone or something to rescue us, show us..?

Has media made us so stupid, so blind.... Have we forgotten?

We must be... cos when I look around I see so much fear, just because people don't know who they are and what they are capable of. 
I also think about what could I write about this.... How can I show you.... give you a lead...? 
Although I know everyone has to find it's own way. 
And I, I am still learning on my own way... it will never end, I guess, but that is a good thing...
But all those fear I see makes me wonder what can you talk about, when are you able to understand, when will you be open enough to listen? 

Göteborg/Gothenburg 20012
See, there are so many things we don't talk about yet like at work about people who does not fit in because they have a disease or something you can't see, or because they do things you don't understand and maybe not believe in too....  I have seen so many reaction and the most where not trying to figure out who the other person is, what is it they don't see or understand. Most never think about how it could feel for those who are different. Instead of asking and looking nearer, most have a pic of you and stay with it all the time. How stupid is this, how sad?! 

I am heard of hearing and many think when they first meet me at work I am bit stupid. 
Or let's look to someone who is bit shy and so the "old" stuff thinks he/ she is stupid or arrogant. 
WEll not all are that lucky, that people change their mind when they get to know you better. 
So I try to teach people to show and talk about it, but what more can I do.. what are you doing? 
The world is simple not black and white, but why are we so lazy to see the world like this so often?
Fear... again... this thing we have to leave and learn to trust in us... remember not long ago, people where kind of afraid of people like him on the pic, just because he had a tattoo.

And when I look around, I no wonder that fear is a powerful thing, that some use to keep us little, stupid and blind and made us slaves.. well. like: slaves of money... just take a look at the next pic... 

Money makes you free!? It does not look like that...

It was just a real summer day, and everyone went out as it could be the last one on earth, everywhere I was looking I saw people waiting... for a table, for the money... trying to get the cheapest clothes... trying to get the newest thing... as if they could not be real without this... 
How to wake them up and make them aware... they need less than all this to be happy, lucky and free... that there is simple nothing to fear... 
Or do we need a Lucy like that?

LOVE & LIGHT